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Are some women so bored they need to shame moms who delivered via c-section?

There has been a lot of noise lately about what is classified as a “natural birth.”  It seems there are some people who don’t regard women who have had to deliver a baby via c-section as “motherly” or as “natural” as those who have pushed them out of their vaginas.

Are you kidding me?

Are we really this bored that we now have to shame women on a matter they had no control over?  I mean like any woman dreams about giving birth to her baby in an operating room, legs in stirrups, everybody in scrubs with operating lights, machines, and a whole medical team surrounding her.  Let’s stop and think this through with some empathy, and compassion people.  Nobody dreams about giving birth this way.  So why is there this new group of elitist moms who are out there hell bent and determined to make these moms feel less than.

I don’t get it.

It’s gross, and it’s actually embarrassing for any woman/person who has taken up the crusade of birthing distinction.  Like who honestly cares how a couple gets to bring a healthy, live, baby into this world?  Why are we even comparing what makes for a legitimate birth and a not so legitimate birth?  Honestly.  I’m asking this with a straight face and confusion in my heart.  Why is this a topic?  Who honestly fucking cares?  It makes me go more than “hmmm” it makes me wonder about the sanity of the people out there telling women that they can’t call a c-section delivery a “natural birth.”  I get what they’re saying, and as far as them saying that it isn’t a natural birth, they technically aren’t wrong, so I can see where they’re coming from.  But for me it really comes down to why are we even discussing this?  Why are there some people out there who seemingly get joy from knocking other people, strangers, I might add, down?  It’s not like them giving birth via a c-section takes anything away from your vag pushing table shitting self.  I mean you still did that.  Yay you.  Kudos.  Bravo.  Well done, and whatever else accolades you all feel you need over the women who didn’t deliver a baby in the exact same way that you did.

But for me it’s always going to come down to this:  What the hell difference does it make in your life if a woman gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby through medical intervention in the way of a c-section?  You need to look at yourselves in the mirror and ask yourselves why would you want to spend any time slamming another woman in this fashion anyway?  Like honestly, what is missing from your life?

To all the warrior women, who must have been scared as hell when halfway during their delivery, or who maybe even knew all along that this was going to be the way their baby came into the world.  I salute you.  You had a major surgery and still managed to get up with your baby to feed it, to care for it, and to bond with it.  In my mom opinion you’re the real rock stars, and I say congratulations to all of you.

xo Shantelle

7 Comments

  1. Did the baby come out of the mother? Legitimate birth. End of story.

    This enrages me. I *almost* had to have a C-section, but it was avoided in my case. I got lucky. But your’e right – taht was not my dream of the birth of my baby! I would go so far as to say that a C-section is more the dream of the doctor on a Friday who doesn’t want to work the weekend.

    But I digress …

    It makes me think of the treatment I got when I was having difficulty breast feeding and they were not going to let me out of the hospital until I proved it could be done. Truth was, my breasts were so large and heavy, with impossible access for my daughter, that she was at risk of smothering instead of feeding! I was told my size H breasts were my problem to deal with. I was, again, enraged. I ended up pumping for months because I wanted her to get breast milk but I sure as hell didn’t need the criticism about how said breast milk got into her.

    I’m ranting. But I’m ranting in concert with you!

  2. My daughter was a doula for awhile. They interpret doctoreze and encourage the mother and father to have whatever birth they have planned. However when things go awry they are there to comfort and explain in confusing and tense times. Highly recommend them as they work for the couple not the hospital. Sections have more complications and are important backup when vaginal births are not working out. I can’t imagine asking for one for convenience. It’s not natural vs unnatural; it’s vaginal vs surgery.

  3. Yes, sometimes people seem to forget that childbirth was the biggest killer of women up to this century, that even today in remote parts of the world 1 in 4 pregnancies result in the mother’s death!
    I have had 3 ceaserians, the first 2 were emergency ones, the last one the doctors refused strait out to let me start labour. With my first pregnancy I was in labour for 2 days, it was thanks to a ceaserian that both I and my daughter survived. People also forget that having major abdominal surgery is never the easier option, you have stiches from side to side, you can’t lift your arms , you can’t drive, even holding your baby is painful, never mind if you have older children that you want to hug and cuddle and each squeeze hurts like hell.
    I have had three pregnancies, three ceaserians and three live healthy babies, never going to be ashamed for that!

  4. I’ve worked in U.S. health care since 1990. In the early years, I worked in an HMO, and the number of C-sections being performed without a real medical need was an issue for our large groups such as government employees and the UAW.

    At that time, some women we’re requesting a C-section as a way to control their delivery date. The health care community saw this as a high-risk and high-cost trend. Even our covered groups began demanding that C-sections ONLY be performed when medically necessary. High rates of C-sections were associated with quality risk.

    I wonder if that is what some of these women are trying to point out? No one should be criticized for doing something that is medically necessary, but “choosing” it for convenience is highly risky for mom and baby. I believe that optional C-sections have fallen out of practice in the U.S. for several years now.

  5. The natural part of this is: A mom is a mom, no matter how she becomes one. Why would one group of moms, who have a vaginal birthing experience want to put down another woman who suffers a C-section, which is not a worry-free surgery. Post operatively these women have had an operation and have a painful incision line all the while taking care of a baby.
    Actually think a C-section delivery mom deserves more respect due to the challenges of being post op and then caring for a newborn.
    Also, one huge danger of a C-section is a pulmonary embolism or a stroke while C-section surgery is occuring or shortly after. But the choice of a C-section is due to life threatening conditions of mom to be or baby, or for multiple births or both mom and baby..
    Once the mom and baby have survived such an experience, they deserve our utmost respect.

  6. Amen! I had 1 by c-section then 1 by Vbac and both ended with beautiful, healthy babies. It’s none of my business how other women have their babies, just as it’s none of my business if other women breastfeed or not. Being a parent is hard enough. We should be supporting each other.

  7. I think some people apparently have a need to make up a cause even if there is nothing there to argue about. The goal for all of this is to bring a healthy baby Ito this world. I stayed the course for 29 hours of labor and when they said c-section I said Hooray! I had the classes about all the possibilities so I was perfectly fine with it. And my boy was fine. Yes recovery is a bit longer but I was still nursing and changing diapers and everything else. And with my second. If I had waited to go into labor she would have died because she had tied a knot in her umbilical cord and as she grew it triggered her gasp reflex. So when they checked my fluid they said you are having a baby this afternoon.. And another c-section. And my little girl only had slight pneumonia from the aspiration and no infection from the meconium and she went home with me, I know, probably a case of female TMI. But the point is I was certainly glad to have all that medical technology to help bring my children safely into this world.
    It may not classify it as “Natural”. But then again, How about “Natural” being whatever needs to be done for Baby and Mom to safely get through the birthing process. I don’t think that I am less of a woman because my children didn’t come through my vagina. And why would any body else care. And then shame us. Shame on them

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