A whole whack of stuff that makes me go “hmmm…”

Today it would appear that something resembling summer is happening in Toronto.  So thanks to that, and some work on my non-fiction “pitch” package I’m giving you a quick and dirty list of things that make me go “hmmm.”

The question must be asked.  How many glasses of wine are in one bottle, on average? I say “average” because like my girlfriend says; “depends on how big your glass is, mine have like three.”

Why, oh why, oh WHY, does Duke insist on simply standing at the top of the stairs to the lower part of the garden yell barking at other neighborhood barking dogs?  Like do you not want to go down to the bottom and try to actually locate the other mouthy dog?  No?  You’re good just standing right outside the house door yelling?  Cool.

Why did Amal Clooney look less pregnant carrying twins than I do right now standing in my kitchen typing this in my bikini? Because like I said it was a really beautiful day today, so I worked outside).  Not because I just like to hang out in my house in my bikini.

Also, why on earth does a 56 year old man want kids?  He’ll be 66 when his twins are 10…70 when the daughter is entering the worst crabby years of her life.  Yikes.  All the power to you George.

So my husband’s new driver’s license and health card just arrived, and I’m green with envy.  The man looks so good in the photos that they could seriously be used as his head shot.  I’m not kidding.  I tried to get a photo so I could use it as the blog photo today but alas I couldn’t do it without getting his numbers and address in the frame.  It’s disgusting, and grossly unfair.  Sort of like how I feel seeing the “pregnancy” photos of Amal Clooney.  Where is the justice in this world of ours??

Why is that my neighbor, with the two little girls that lives behind me yell at her girls at the top of her lungs on the regular?  The little girls play so lovely when they’re out there with their dad.  The SECOND the mom gets out there it becomes a “who can yell the loudest the longest” competition.  So f’n bizarre.  Like who are the children in that scenario???  And why are you YELLING.  Also, why are you so mean to your children?  Seriously the things she says to them, I’m just like; “do I need to get involved???”

And why is her husband such a pussy, and allow her to verbally abuse their children??

Another thing that makes me go “hmmm” why do public people have public affairs in public?  If I were going to have an affair, I would be so super, uber stealthy about it that my lover wouldn’t even be sure if we were having an affair.  I sure as shit wouldn’t be getting my cheat on with an audience of witnesses.  Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm.

In closing, I get not wanting to be inundated with tales, and photos of poverty.  But, not everything I write about, or post about is going to have something to do with YB.  Sometimes I want to write about the things that matter to me as a citizen of the world.  It truly makes me go “hmmm” that some people are following me to simply be voyeurs.  News flash.  You don’t have to follow a person who isn’t private to see what they’re posting.  So if you don’t follow, you don’t have to un-follow and mess with my metrics.  I would like it so much more if only the true friends follow me.  I’m happy if you others just take a peek every once in a while to see what I’m yammering on about, rather than come and go like the wind.  I will not be offended if you don’t give me a follow, I truly won’t.

Thanks so much for checking in today, mucho love to you all!

10 Comments

  1. Continue to do you, otherwise you won’t enjoy it and many of us would miss your musings if it no longer is your joy. I enjoy the balance of both the serious and amusing topics . Thank you for your posts on Haiti. Inspiring me to quit thinking about it and start giving to Mitch Albom’s Have Faith mission there.

  2. Perfect hmmm essay! You must spend quite some time to ensure you are happy with the finished result. As someone who also writes short stories and poems, the most time is spent editing over and over. Ensuring no errors too. Making sure the intent of each sentence is clear. You do a great job with each one here as you have your ponderings on life. I enjoy the variety of topics also. They go from sort of a micro look at various aspects of your own life to the more macro world view of news in the world. Your own reflections on the news and now your own experience with witnessing poverty beyond comprehension. I’m sure with the latter experience so recently, you still are having thoughts of those you met in Haiti simply wondering how they can keep going day after day with little hope for change. I have a question which you can answer on Twitter. These essays, are they the non-fiction submission eventually for a book? They will make for an interesting publication of musings of a Canadian woman. Just think, you could book tour and meet others who may have read all or some of your essays across Canada. What fun it would be. Another experience to write about at length as you would tour the provinces. It would be your take on the landscape of the opinions of Canadian women. Could even be opinions of Canadian men of the opinion of a Canadian woman – you. Anyway, wanted to add my comments above in reply to your hmmm wonderings of today.

  3. Great thoughts today. Personally I will admit I found your blog because of who you are married to. But I follow you because not only are you smart and funny, you say things that really hit home. While I should imagine I’ll continue to enjoy your husband’s work, I will follow you for you and yours as well. Robin

  4. Hmm, that’s a fair number of “Hmm” topics bouncing around in your head in one day, Shantelle. 😉 But then, why not?

    I think No 1. probably does depend on wine glass size…

    Duke…It’s probably just ‘dog logic’ because it’s the easiest thing…why use those short legs any more than you have to, perhaps??

    Who knows the answer re the Clooneys….some things like that just don’t make sense (I can’t get my head around people having children as GC’s age either). As for you, I bet you look sensational in a bikini. I would safely bet you’d be looking a whole lot better than me.

    Hmmm, can’t say I’m surprised Yannick looks terrific in his license and health card photos. There are a chosen few who are thusly genetically blessed. The issue of the quality of the printing process of such photos aside, you can rest assured you don’t look too shabby either.

    I ‘m sorry the neighbours are the way they each are regarding their children…I can understand your concern about it, and it would very make me think ‘hmmm…’ as well….and wonder about getting involved. Apart from being very unpleasant, it’s also very worrying.

    I have no answer as to the nature of public people doing whatever kind of public thing they might do in public. All this ‘public business’ is ‘another world’ away from me…

    Since this is YOUR blog, it’s your perogative to write what you want, as often as you want,.and to take a break when you need to, etc, etc. etc.

    Mucho love to you too,

    Nattacia

  5. As I’ve written before, I actually look forward to your musings! You are funny, intelligent, and real, not in any particular order. I don’t know you personally, but I enjoy reading your writings. I actually started by following YB, because I enjoy Murdoch Mysteries so much, but then discovered you! I guess there is a little bit of voyeurism involved, if that’s OK.

  6. Although your questions are rhetorical, perhaps I can make you feel a bit better. Amal Clooney is six feet tall and built like a toothpick. She would just look like she had a few too many desserts. Her babies were probably built just like her, no bones. My dog yell barks from inside the house. I have no idea what he is saying, but when the huge dogs from next door get near us in the yard, they try to kill him (he is a bichon frise). As for being or not being photogenic, I am the least photogenic person you will ever see. In a group shot, where all people and other features are in magnificent clarity, I am always fuzzy. There is a disconnect somewhere between me and the camera. I have never had an affair so I am at a loss there. There will always be people like your neighbor. The most you can do is try to compliment the children or hire them to walk the dog if they are old enough. Anything else would be taken as “abuse of power”. In the meantime, enjoy life. It is far too short.

  7. I started following you in part because of YB. An early interview I read he talked about a car he had just gotten when “we found out we were pregnant.” That impressed me, and made me want to learn about you. I enjoy reading your insights. Am I a bit of a voyeur? Yes, but there’s so much more of interest and I like knowing that a “star” can maintain a healthy relationship and have good values (IMHO). So, if it’s okay with you I will continue to follow you, even though we’ve never met and likely never will. I enjoy sharing a world with you!

  8. Hiya great hmmms tonight. Glad you are over your cold but you have sent it over the water – as I am currenlty fighting a bad head cold 🙁 lol. I agree why do men age so much better and take better photos no matter what time of day or what they are wearing?? Always amazed me that and I too unfortunately have neighbours who do not beilieve in talking at a normal level but the highest screeching decible going and we can still hear them even with the windows closed!!!
    Love reading all your musings with or without refereces to the brilliant Mr B – he might be your husband and soulmate but you are still your own person.
    As for how many glasses of wine the average bottle has mmm depends on who you are sharing it with 🙂 take care xx

  9. I’ll be the first to admit I started following you as a voyeur because of who you are married to, not who YOU are. But I’ve stayed connected because the stuff you write is so damned good! You keep me entertained; sometimes laughing, sometimes crying, sometimes biting my tongue. Keep it up, girl. You rock!

  10. Good luck with the pitch, Shantelle.
    I suck at those things but you have a great support team and plenty of moxie/talent so you should be good.

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