From the blog

Want to stop sexual harassment? Don’t sexually harass people.

First and foremost I want to thank each and every one of you who took the time to not only extend your good wishes to us/Duke for his full recovery, along for a positive outcome with the results, but if you even thought about him, or us, and sent good vibes.  I/we are all incredibly grateful.

To those who reminded me:  “my blog my content” thanks for that!

Now, on to today’s “Soulful Sunday” blog, as it were.  Did any of you see the tone deaf, actually not even, that’s being too kind, the asinine message, on the marquee of a church in Indiana that they had the nerve to not just think but to advertise?  What were they thinking??  I’ve used the photo of it for today’s blog so you can see it for yourself.

In late January, the Emmanuel Baptist Church had a message for the world.  It was a message on how to avoid being sexually harassed as you go about your day to day life.

The message was simple, straight forward, and clear.

It said:

STOP SEXUAL

HARASSMENT

WEAR CLOTHES

This is not a thing that makes me go “hmmm” this is an absolute WTAF for me??  Is this real??  I part hoped that it was a joke, that it was one of those memes that somebody had posted.  I couldn’t believe that it was actually legit.  But I’ve googled it, and every article that I’ve found regarding it says that it is 1000% serious, and supported by the pastor and the Parish.

A lot of you will probably find it hard to believe that people actually think like that.  But I can assure that it is not that crazy, and that there are many people out in the world who believe wholeheartedly that it is a woman’s responsibility to ensure she’s not sexual harassed.  I know it firsthand, because I’ve lived it.  For those of you who have been following me for a while, you know that YB and I used to belong to a non-denominational cult.  I’ve also shared how a few of the wives who were “above me in the Lord” pulled be aside to counsel me on how I needed to change how I was dressing, wear less make up, and generally find ways to make myself less attractive.  Turns out my name had been coming up in their discipling sessions, and their husbands were confessing their sin of lust for me.

Oh, cool.  So it’s my fault your husband can’t look at me without thinking inappropriate things?  I’m sorry, but no.  No it is not.  Now, maybe, just maybe if I was sashaying around bible study, twenty-one years old, professional dancer who trained 15-20 hours a week NAKED and he was thinking about having sex with me I could understand your beef with me.  Or if we were talking about today’s trend, and I was posting semi-nudes/bikini photos of myself on my social media and all he could think about was “getting with me.”  Perhaps then I might concede and accept some responsibility in whether or not he could control his urges.  But wearing dresses with high collars, jeans and sweaters, nah ladies, sorry, that’s all on your hubbies, that had nothing to do with me.

So I’ve been on the receiving end of my fair share of some stunted evangelical wack Christian beliefs.  So shit like this makes my blood boil, it riles me up, and truly causes me to wonder if people like this know how backward they are?  I mean honestly.  If somebody behaves sexually inappropriate to another human being it is nobody’s responsibility except the offender.  Period.  End of story.  Women, actually, all people should be able to be their authentic selves without worry of being sexually targeted in a negative way.  I just can’t and won’t accept this.  This way of thinking and being completely removes the onus, entirely, from the guilty party.  Are you telling me that people who sexually assault young children are being tempted because of how the kids were dressed?  See how stupid that sounds when you say it out loud.

No.  They sexually assault, and harass others because they have zero self control, or respect for the other person.  Any sort of sexual inappropriate behavior begins and ends with the perpetrator.

Period.  End of Story.

You want to stop sexual harassment??

DON’T SEXUALLY HARASS OTHERS.  I mean honestly, don’t need to be a rocket science here people.

5 Comments

  1. I’ve got nothing. This is nuts. But leave it to organized religion to have a firm grasp on what’s completely ass-backwards …

  2. Nothing to add to this but an “Amen!” ( Sorry, my cynical self couldn’t help the jab!)

  3. That is just disgusting. They should be ashamed & I hope they lose some congregation for that bs!!

  4. Once again organized religion is completely f’d up, OMG how can people be so ignorant. Yes simple solution DON’T HARRASS period.

  5. This is Mike Pence country, you know, the VP, who never dines alone with a woman, because lord knows what would happen! The inference is that men’s urges are legitimate but ungovernable, so women have do it for them by not exciting them. If they do, whatever happens is not the man’s fault, but the woman’s, because temptation is too much for the poor creatures. Both Christianity and Islam blame women when men “lose control.” It’s just another way for men to not take responsibility. Like when they lose their tempers and beat women. But I do think things are changing in more enlightened parts of the country. I’ve seen big changes in my lifetime with hopefully more to come in yours. We parents of daughters must fight for them.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *