Time cannot be, without something ending, and something new beginning.

Time is a funny thing.  It simultaneously moves quickly, and slowly.   Monday, the day we, as a family have decided to let our boy go back to the Rainbow Bridge, to see his big brother Kuda, his mom, and dad seems to be taking such a long time to arrive, luckily.  And yet, watching a beautiful young woman be married today, whom we’ve known since she was thirteen seems to have gone by in the blink of an eye.  Or the difference that a day can make.  One day I posted praise for Delta Airlines, only to wake up within twelve hours to see they had booted an entire family off a plane.

Come October we will marry our own daughter, at the age of twenty-eight, which is strange since I still feel as though I am twenty-eight.

Where does time go?  And how, can we, for the love of God slow it down.  I was going to type “get it back” but we all know that we cannot, so then we must find a way to slow the passing of time.  Does one accomplish this by doing less in a day?  Simplifying life?

Right now we’re on an island where there is literally nothing else to do but, walk, play tennis, golf, or relax.  There are two restaurants, so no “going” out to dinner, unless you want to take a forty minute ferry ride across the Atlantic ocean into Savannah.  Which seems a tad excessive to me.  Every time Yannick and I come here, we contemplate purchasing a home.  A place to come to where we would be forced to do nothing.  To just BE.  Then we spend four days here, and realize that we’re not quite there yet.  We’re not ready to move “this slowly” through our days, where a golf cart, bicycle, or our own two feet are the only way to get around.  Maybe one day, but for now we will come visit, or celebrate a wedding, although our friends only have one more kid to marry off, so that too will be behind us, in no time.  So for today, this weekend we will happily live in the moment of being here for one more day of lazy, quiet, soulful living.

Besides, since YB just fired a large chunk of his team, which means the end of one thing to allow the beginning of something new.  And we plan on having many new, BIG adventures/opportunities coming our way.  All of which require we have our feet firmly planted on LA and TO soil.

Maya Angelou PASSING TIME

Your skin like dawn

Mine like musk

One paints the beginning

Of a certain end

The other, the end of a

Sure beginning.

It is true, with Pippa and Andy’s wedding brings about the beginning of their lives together, as they might have children, and will create their own traditions etc.  But, for my girlfriend, she’s letting go of her baby, never again will it be just the two of them.  One thing begins, due to the ending of something else.  It is the only way that time works.  As it will be with our boy, Mack, Monday will begin our lives without him, after twelve years of him always being there.  I suppose some endings bring with them joyful anticipation, while others bring with them sadness and pain.

The yin and yang of life…for me, this is time.

 

8 Comments

  1. Dear Shantelle,

    I feel so deeply for you, Yannick and your daughters, especially Mikaela. This is one of the hardest decisions the parent of a fur baby can be faced with. Mack knows he has led a life filled with love, nurturing and companionship. Our pet family members love us as much as we love them. And one aspect of loving them is understanding how living in their body impacts on them.

    Everyone is different; and there cannot be any judgement as to whether this kind of decision is made by a furbaby’s loved ones or not.

    But you have decided to give him the gift of freedom from the physical body that not only no longer works properly for him, and which he unfortunately cannot now comprehend. By putting yourselves in his position, and by reducing his own type of suffering, you give him the gift of empathy. And that, amongst our responsibilities as their carers – and however painful – is the greatest gift of love,.

    And since love is a form of energy, and a powerful one at that, by it’s very nature it cannot be destroyed. Your love for Mack and his for you all will live on, as is the case for all your beloved fur children.

    May I share with you the story of my darling girl, Coco?

    I have always been an animal lover, and while that includes dogs and others of God’s fine creatures, I grew up with cats. I was living on my own and had just lost my ‘marmalade’ ginger cat, Hamish, on a Saturday morning. I was a devastated mess, and the innocent question “how was your weekend?” on Monday morning at work had me in a river of tears. My colleague who sat next to me kept urging me to get a new kitty straight away. I could not come to grips with this, thinking it was far too early and I had still to grieve for Hamish….but she kept insisting and just would not relent.

    During my lunch break walk, I had a ‘vision’ of a tri-colour (what I believe in the US – Canada too, maybe?? – is called a ‘calico’) cat. (I live in Australia, and most people just call such cats a ‘tortie’ – tortoiseshell – but that’s only one one third of the story!) I called a few places and was told by one that they had 3 such coloured cats, all females, which I felt needed to be the case ‘if anything was meant to be’.

    After work I went to look at these 3 kittens. In short, while they all meowed plaintively at me, one in particular chose ME. She wriggled up from my arms to my shoulder, curled herself up and purred non-stop. My heart melted. Here, in the midst of my grief, this kitty was giving me the love that would heal my grief and bond us together forever.

    That night I rang my few family members and they all came and fell in love with my little sweetie. Of course, she needed a name. Shelley (as in the poet) came to mind, but then it was as if I had another ‘vision’ as the name “COCO” (as in Chanel, of course) flashed clearly to me. And so it was, and she responded immediately when I called her by that name. No doubt she already KNEW it was her name.

    As she reclined on my bed in resplendent slumber one Saturday morning a few weeks later, I had the strongest feeling that, unlike Hamish who had very little time on this earth, Coco would be with me a long time. She was my shadow. When I opened my car door to get do my grocery shopping one Saturday morning, she just hopped in, curled up on my lap, purring her head off as I drove. She did the same on various other occasions. When I had visitors, she hopped on everyone’s lap to say ‘hello’, before curling up on mine. She just connected with people everywhere.

    I moved interstate twice, and there were 4 house moves in those transitions. She just adapted to each new place. It seemed as though if her Mummy was there, it was all okay. Coco continued to spread love wherever we were. In 2004, twelve years after we were brought together, I returned back to my home city. Circumstances were that I moved into my family home, with my Mother who had stayed there since we moved into this house in 1965.

    Now Coco had two ‘Mothers’; her Mummy and her ‘Oma’. That meant double the chance of cuddles! She was the definition of affection, ‘personality plus’, and ‘one in a million’. She worked her way into Mum’s heart like no other of our cats had. She could understand English and bits of German, while conversing in all different manner of meows. She acted like she was training to understand and obey different things like a child would! Her specialness never ceased to amaze my Mum.

    In her more senior years she became arthritic, and we did everything we could to ease that. We had a wonderful vet, and on the odd occasion she was ‘off colour’ over the years, she bounced back again.

    Then around my birthday in 2009, Coco was alternating between eating and not touching her food. We kept a watch to see if she improved, but on a Sunday when she seemed weak and listless, our only option was an animal hospital, where anti-inflammatories and antibiotics were administered. But it was only buying time. Later that week, our vet gave her stronger medication, and we were to visit him every few days for him to check on Coco. She seemed to improve, and was eating again. I held on to hope. But then she was off her food again, and we could feel the thinness of her body when we cuddled her, and that she was getting weaker.

    The following two days were to be our last weekend together as a family of three. With heavy hearts, Mum and I looked at each other, tears in our eyes, and both agreed we did not want her to suffer through starvation. On Monday, 7 December we took her to our vet. While we could try the treatment again, he said “I don’t know if we are going to win this one”, so sadly it confirmed for us we had to let her go.

    I never had any of the children I had always longed for, and with so little time with Hamish, Coco in effect had been ‘my baby’. It may not make sense, but as she went to the Rainbow Bridge roughly 3 months shy of her 18th birthday, I felt my heart break like I had lost ‘my only child’.

    You may be surprised by this, but Coco had a way of communicating – once telepathically with my grandmother when she was dreaming one night. What my Oma related to me from her home intestate was exactly what was happening at the time!. And after we returned home on that last Monday of her life, Coco gave us a ‘sign’ she was there, and that has continued sporadically over the years. That she wanted to give us comfort in this way touched my heart, and lifted my spirits. Occasionally she has visited me in my dreams, and I feel her love as I always did during her life. It confirms for me that this special bond and love never dies.

    I hope in time your special memories of Mack and the love you feel for him give you all comfort, and sustain you through this difficult time and beyond. And I know for sure his love for you continues forever too.

    Sending you all healing light, comfort and blessings,

    Nattacia

  2. I’m so sorry for your pending loss of Mack. It’s never easy to let them go. My Dad said this to me when I got my first dog. He said, “when the time comes, be good to them, just as they’ve been good to you. You owe it to them.”
    God bless you and your family in this sad time.

  3. We must be mindful of every moment whether it is replete with pain or pleasure.
    Savour it. There will be little need to slow time or speed it.
    Namaste ♥

  4. A rather sad essay on the passage of time and the reality of facing things like a decision to let go of your brave survivor Mack.

    Then at the end you had to throw in a mystery statement that confuses me & perhaps others with no real knowledge of the entertainment industy – about YB firing a good chunk of his team? Hope this is NOT related to the Murdoch team but rather to some other aspect of the business? If you can clarify this by private email would be great if not appropriate for Twitter or blog clarification.

  5. Time is such a weird concept at times (hmmmm). In a months time it’s 25 years since I did my last oral exam (Spanish, as it happens) for my high-school diploma. It’s one of those big dates – and I can’t believe it’s been that long! I mean: I still remember that time like it was yesterday! I remember us (my class) having a slight meltdown, when we realised that the company we’d booked to take us round to our parents’ houses after the ceremony had the dates wrong! (In Denmark it’s tradition for the graduating classes to go round by open lorry, horse-drawn wagon, or some sort of bus to all the parents, get off, have a drink, some food, and then off to the next house). Luckily we found an alternative company, got a truely epic lorry (We had both an open and a covered part, which was good seeing as we had a bit of rain during the 12 hours it took). We partied until dawn (another tradition – helped by the short nights in June), and I remember getting in about 7, sans voice, and falling into bed….
    Now: some of my class have children graduating this year, some have children having their first communion, and one just had her first child a few months ago. But we all remember gathering a few days after graduation, watching Denmark pull off a truely amazing feat, when we won the European Soccer Championships, having missed out on the qualification tournament, but then being added because Jugoslavia ceased to exist. We will be having a big party later this year.
    None of us feel older, but I suppose we are…..

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