Is it possible for me to write an opinion blog without being “counseled” in my comments section???

Drawing a line in the sand

I know I write an opinion blog.  I know that I allow comments on said blog, for every single topic.  I know that when you “open yourself up” to the world you invite criticism, feedback and, for other people to have their freedom of speech moments as well.  I welcome people’s differences of opinion, I have no issue with it, except when for me it crosses the line from opinion to counsel.  I don’t write my posts to be “parented” I write them to be expressive, creative, and to hone my writing craft while I work toward being published.  What I’m not looking for, ever, is to be “raised” by your comments.  I have a mother, I have a husband, I have three daughters, and some incredibly close friends.  If I want to be counseled I’ll go to them.  I know them, they know me.  I love them, they love me.  I trust them and they, hopefully trust me.  I don’t come to my blog to be “parented” by strangers.

And I suppose here in lies the issue with social media and perhaps the way I use it.  I use it to promote my writing, which currently is all about the things inside my head.  So I end up sharing so much about my life, my thoughts, and my struggles that some people feel as if I’m inviting them in to offer me counsel.  I realize I’m totally to blame for setting up this dynamic and I take responsibility for building “our relationship” this way.  Since I built it this way, I’m the only way that can now ask for boundaries within the relationship.  Some of you might “break up with me” because of these new “rules/expectations” I have, but to avoid me getting to the point where I feel like I need to tweet to let people know that they’ve crossed a line, let me invite you when commenting on my posts to keep your comments to your opinions.  Please do not counsel me, or talk to me like you really know me; you know what I write, but not me.

I would prefer if your comments were more about how the post touched you, or how you might relate to it, or ways that the topic has touched you in your life.  But please, going forward don’t write me comments breaking down my thought process behind a post, topic or issue.  What you read here is what I want you to read.  It has gone through my filter, my censor board as it were, it’s also written to spark conversation between you and me, or you and your friends, or to have you, if you feel comfortable enough to share your own similar thoughts, and stories back to me.

But please, for the love of God, please don’t presume to understand or know me and write me comments counseling me on what you think I’m lacking, or what I’m “struggling” with.  It’s not the same thing as me asking for your advice on how to throw a great bridal shower.  When I ask please feel free to advise, but otherwise handing out advice with every comment gets a little old for me.  Sometimes when reading them I feel like I’m the young child in desperate need of raising instead of a blogger just trying to hand out, hopefully some fun and enjoyment with the things that make me go “hmmm…”

I appreciate you hearing me out, and hope not too many of you break up with me over my new boundaries.

Much love, SB


  1. To answer the title question of this post, and knowing humans as I do, probably not. Sad, but true. This is my opinion, and I disavow any affiliation with anybody else (lol).

  2. I also hope I have not offended. You often provoke chains of thought that lead me into my past or sometimes into the weeds and I react accordingly. However, my experience has been when I’ve tried to change the rules everyone thinks I’m talking about someone else and being self-unaware, they continue in the sane vein. So don’t be surprised if it doesn’t work. Just been there, done that. Meanwhile, following you is a Hell of a lot more fun than the Kardashians. Keep up the good work.

  3. No, you’re good! Isn’t that the whole point of this blog, everyone? If you agree, say so, if not, say that too! But to think this woman needs to be “enlightened”, well, that’s not what this is about. It’s free speech people, plain and simple. Good on you Shantelle!

  4. I’m really sorry if my recent comment made you upset or uncomfortable. You are right..this is your blog so I apologize if in any way I presumed to know what you thought or if it seemed I was hijacking your blog. I don’t and I was not.I guess because you make it easy to feel like we are in A coffee shop discussing ideas that makes responses welcome. Again,please accept my apology.

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