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Parenting tip #1, how not to raise a bully. Just don’t. Period.

Ahhhh, bullying.  What an important topic, and an even more important conversation to have with your kids.  Like, can we all just be honest with ourselves here, this is a safe place, where everything stays in the “cone of silence”.  We’ve all been that asshole who has bullied another person(s).  We’ve also all got a story about being bullied; and I am here to tell you that the only way we can eliminate bullying from the world is to admit that it is a thing that happens, and that your kid, could very possibly be being one right now as you’re reading this blog.

Sometimes kids bully because they’ve been bullied.

Sometimes kids bully because they’re entitled assholes who have never been taught that every single person on this planet is somebody’s child, and they are loved, and they have feelings just like your kid does.

Whatever the reason for a kid being a bully, it is your responsibility as a parent to nip that unacceptable attitude and behaviour in the bud, before it gets out of hand, and your child becomes the ring leader who leads another vulnerable child to take their own life rather than deal with one more moment of cruelty at the hands of their peers.  I was broken-hearted to hear about the boy in fourth grade who took his life shortly after he came out right at the beginning of the school year.  Like can you imagine how cruel the kids at his school had to have been for a nine year old to take his own life???  I cannot even fathom it.  When I close my eyes, I try to get to that place of understanding as to the depth of pain he was living with that made suicide the best option.

It is unimaginable.

So, if I may be so blunt to say this:  Parents.  Do your fucking jobs.  Don’t raise bullies.  It’s not that hard to do.  It really isn’t.  It only adds a few minutes to your daily parenting routine.

It goes like this.

“Hi Bobby/Susie.  How was your day today?  Did you get along with everybody?  Were you kind to everybody (even the kids you don’t like, meaning if you don’t like somebody just leave them the hell alone, this also goes for all adults reading this.  No need to be cruel to them, just don’t bother with them)?  Were people kind to you?”

Dialogue.  Dialogue.  DIALOGUE.

It is your job to talk with your child.  It is your responsibility to check in with a teacher to make sure that your perfect kid is being straight up with you about whether or not they are a good global citizen when they’re not in your care.  You signed up for this right after you threw your gender reveal party.

Parent.

There is no reason, none whatsoever, that somebody else’s heart living outside their bodies should end their lives because you didn’t take the time to NOT raise a bully.

Period.

xo

SB

3 Comments

  1. Well written! Was talking with a colleague the other day about this, and have to agree: parents, if a teacher wants to talk to you, because another child says your child is bullying them, PLEASE keep an open mind. PLEASE accept that YOUR 8th wonder just might have done so. But also: keep in mind that you can be supportive without aggression, and you can also show that you don’t condone bullying, without your child feeling thrown under the bus.

  2. TOTALLY AGREE. It is our responsibility as parents to raise caring individuals. My children are kind, caring, loving adults because that is how we raised them. You need to have the dialogue and keep it going, And live by example

  3. Shantelle💜 You are absolutely,unquestionably right on the terrible terrible topic. ” BULLING ” It seem that some kids just look for the small size kid or the quite ones. Parents, you need to help your kids to understand what there bulling can do to these kids. My heart breaks for all the families who have lost children to Bulling. This needs to STOP. Shantelle, thank you for sharing this with all of us. 💚💃💚

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