Is misogynistic road rage on the rise???

I’ve learned something about my city this past week.  Road rage in Toronto is at an all time high.  In the month that I’ve been home, I’ve had three aggressive road rage incidents targeted at me.  Three.  In one month.  Let’s put this in perspective.  I spend close to half a year every single year over the course of twelve months driving in LA.  LA.  There are millions more drivers and cars on the roads there.  You know how many road rage issues I have in LA.  NONE.  Ever.  As in NEVER have I EVER had an issue while driving in LA.  And I drive the exact same way in LA as I do in Toronto.  In fact, truth be told, I may even be a tad brattier in LA with my driving; because getting a ticket there for speeding would not have the same impact on my driving record as getting tickets here would.  So I’m definitely way more cautious and “law abiding” in Toronto than I am in LA.

And yet all my driver’s conflict issues seem to happen here, in my hometown, with men.

Yannick has a theory.  Well actually his theory is two fold.  1)  he says people don’t “go after” people in LA because you just never know who might be driving with a gun in their vehicle.  Probably true and 2) he says it’s because I’m a woman, driving alone most of the time, and he believes that in the times of Trump the male misogynistic attitude is flying bold and free in a way that it never has.  He is 1000% confident that if I had a man in my passenger seat when I indicate to come over in front of a man, or when I pass one, no guy would “chase” me down the road to fuck with me.  I wonder if this is true?

My brother and I were driving to Oshawa General Hospital together yesterday to see our dad in emergency.  He thought he was having a heart attack, thank God he did not.  He is well, and resting at home.  Monday we’re taking him for an ECG to learn more about what IS going on with him.  I shared with my brother, who was my passenger about an elderly man, like ELDERLY, probably late 70’s who backed out of his driveway in front of me, no problem, the light ahead of us was red.  He made his left hand turn at the light, chose to go into the right lane, instead of the left, no problem, seems to be a trend in driving the world over that people don’t turn into their lane.  Whatever. You do you, I prefer to turn into my correct lane.  As we were driving along, he in the right, me in the left, I put on my indicator to go in front of him to avoid ending up in a pile of cars ahead of me stopped at a red light for their left hand turn.

I bet you can all guess what happened next.

He sped up, attempting to not allow me in front of him, even though he was going slower than me.  I had room and made my lane change anyway.  He tailgated me, ran a yellow to continue to tailgate me.  I made my left into the parking lot of the store I was going to, he followed me in.  I exited my SUV, with our eldest girl, he attempted to “hit me” with his car.  I didn’t say a word I just filmed the entire thing, as per YB’S instructions.  He called me all sorts of names.  I told him he’s not a gentleman.  Can you guess what happened next?

You’ll never guess in a million years so I’m just going to tell you.

He said; “if I had a gun I would shoot you.”

Yup.  Yes he did.  And I have it all on video.

All because I went in front of him.

All because I made a lane change that I indicated that I was doing, when I had plenty of room to do it within.

If this man had a gun in his car he says he would have shot me.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Come again?!?!

What the hell has happened to my city?  What in the hot hell is going on with so many of the men who live here?  Just the other day, Friday, I went to go around a trash truck picking up bins.  Normal right?  I mean why would I want to stay behind him on his trash route?  I’m not being paid to stop at every bin to collect trash.  So I went around him.

You know what he did???

He came out from the curb, raced along the road, passed me and almost t-boned a woman that was making a left out of a driveway that I had stopped for because she was already engaged in her exit when I came around the bend.

UNBELIEVABLE.

And I am not alone.  I’ve had multiple conversations with other women this past week and everybody has similar stories of being chased along the roads of the GTA by men overflowing with hatred, violence and malice.

What is happening with Toronto men behind the wheels of motor vehicles?  What are some of you even thinking?  Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm.

10 Comments

  1. Won’t repeat myself here as left detailed comment on your June 4 blog related to this issue. I must, repeat, however that I disagree with adorable Yannick about his opinion that Mr. Trump is responsible for every reprehensible act taking place in Canada these days!

  2. WTF!!!

    Not just Toronto. I have been experiencing similar issues myself in Kitchener-Waterloo. This is not OK.

    Kristi

  3. Holy s#*t Shantelle ! That is a scary escalation of events.
    Normaly I am a live and let live kind of person and easy to dismiss and forget wrongs done to me, but with violence as it is nowadays a treat like that should be taken seriously. You say the guy is old and your neighbour – I guess in the interest of it all not becoming a huge neighbour war, you could try to aproach him (through an intermediary or his wife) and tell him how schoked and scared you were with his actions and see how he reacts. If there is no sighn of regret or an apology report it. What if it happens to someone else and god forbid he really did have a gun?
    Sorry you probably tired of unsolicited advice.
    Hope your dad is feeling better.

  4. Firstly grateful that your Dad was ok and here’s to the ECG giving some answers. Please give the cops the video. I truly believe that with our current Mayor in Toronto who is similar to our last one just not on drugs and the President south of the border it has given the creeps a pass to be themselves. I’m disabled due to a creep doctor not wanting to pay someone to hold the camera for my operation. I encounter this male behaviour more and more. I have men say I could rape you becaue you can’t out run me just because I might have walked to close to their car when trying to navigate this city. You’re a strong woman with presence that could help us all

  5. Watch yourself out there–too many crazies. I live in West Michigan–you know, friendly Midwesterners–and this (agressive driving and some shootings) happens all the time in and around Grand Rapids. It’s been happening more often since I went to a Prius a few years back. I assume they think I’m a tree-hugging, hippie enviro-freak with a slow electric car. (It’s gas with electric assist and will get on up and out of there if someone tries to drive into my trunk.) Oh, and I’m decidely brunette! Misogynistic, perhaps; inpatient and self-absorbed, for certain!

  6. Oh.My.God. Shantelle! You have “creep-appeal”!!!! You have been hit with a water bottle on your arm by a misogynistic man and his woman, told off in an airport because you weren’t moving fast enough on a moving sidewalk, had men yell at you while you were driving, now this!!! WTAF! Personally, I think it’s because you are driving a high end SUV, AND, you’re blonde! Yes my friend, blonde! Men naturally think that blondes are ditzy! Yes, ditzy! Oh My God! I am in utter amazement! I’ll give you a little piece of advice. Blow them a kiss the next time you become face to face with said men. I’m tellin ya, they will stop in mid sentence and look at you stunned!!! I’ve tried it, I’ve done it and Girl, it works! They end up just moving away from you.
    YB put it EXACTLY! I was not able to put a reason to all this chauvinistic, misogynistic, racist behavior in men these days, but he did! This Jackass has brought out the worst in men in my country and yours! Un-f’n-believable!
    Well, the prophet Nostradamus was right once again. He said, “the audacious brawler” would be made govenor of the army and there would be turmoil the likes we’ve never seen, pitting brother against brother. (or in today’s terms, human against human).
    In light of this, we all have to watch ourselves (women that is) because there is no filter with this
    “same” mind-set.
    I try to ignore it, but day after day, there’s the same shit happening to another person, somewhere on this planet. His negativity is spreading like a fungus!!!
    So, next time you’re faced with an asshole like that, blow them a kiss and smile. Wait till you see their reaction.
    Be careful out there Shantelle!

  7. Dear Shantelle,

    Firstly, I’m sorry your Dad had to go to emergency. I’m glad to hear he is okay, and back home resting, and I’m praying that the ECG shows nothing untoward.

    As for the main subject of this post:

    This man’s behaviour is absolutely deplorable in the first instance, and despicable in the second! It’s hard to comprehend that anyone could even THINK such a thing, let alone SAY it, and even more so when HE was the one not doing the right thing and driving recklessly, in the first place – and then try to hit you when you got out of the car with Brianna???? Putting both your lives at risk???? Utterly outrageous. Glad you filmed it and I hope you got his registration number!

    What has happened to society? Not just in your corner of the world, but here, too. Rudeness and lack of consideration for others seem to have become the order of the day.

    Unfortunately, drivers in my city are notorious for impatience, cutting people off, speeding up to close a safe gap for someone to change lanes, and tailgating. Not letting people in who need to change lanes is one of the most common occurrences on roads here.

    I was taught defensive driving, which allows time to react to a change in what’s happening on the road. For a long time it seems aggressive driving is everywhere – and it could be that male misogynistic attitudes prevail in this. Unfortunately there are women who are guilty of this as well, but it happens more with men.

    Here this gets even worse if a driver has registration plates from another state, as I found when I returned back to my home state, with my former state’s number plates on. I had only been back for a few days before I had someone tailgating me and driving quite fast along continuously winding roads as I made my way to a friend’s house. Okay, I don’t know those roads as well as locals, but I bet if I had to stop suddenly I would have been rear-ended. I just exited into someone’s driveway, and re-entered the road when it was safe, but it wasn’t a pleasant experience. I can’t imagine what this particular one was like for you!

    Thankfully there are the occasional drivers who do the right thing and let you in, to change lanes, and perhaps let you join traffic from a side street if it’s safe to do so. I believe in doing a good turn wherever possible and always appreciate those who are considerate also…and all it takes is a lift of a hand in acknowledgement and thanks when this does happen.

    I am so sorry you and Brianna had this horrible experience. And I’m angry that this was the third time for you in a month. It’s truly disgraceful.

    Praying that you and your girls remain completely safe and unharmed, whatever roads you travel on!

    Hugs,

    Nattacia xox

  8. That is scary!! Witness, and caught on video, and he didn’t back off! I’m from Midwest and have never seen road rage, but I recently caught an episode on “Criminal Minds” (I think 3rd or 4th season) on issue of road rage. Pure hatred, and God help victims…it escalates and does not get better. I hope you notified “authorities”. His problem will not get better, and will lead to more violence. I would be afraid he could track your vehicle for a home address. Not just rude, but deadly. PLEASE take this to someone who can follow up, before he explodes. God bless you and watch over you and your family. I worry about you.

  9. I found this very interesting. I live in California and got my license in LA County when I was 16. I’m in my 60’s now. In all these years the worst reaction I’ve gotten from another driver was that he blew his horn at me (loudly). I have heard horror stories on the news but not personally. What really surprises me is your driving problems in Toronto. Canadians are so known for being nice, kind and in every way pleasant to be around that it seems very odd (and sad) that you have run into so many angry drivers. We were on vacation in Utah recently and we had an opportunity to spend some time with visitors from Canada. They were everything we expected them to be and we enjoyed our visit with them. I guess it is disappointing to me to hear that, for some Canadians at least, getting behind a wheel has a Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde effect.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *