What do you mean you can no longer love your son because he is gay???

I want to thank you all for sharing your stories with me about your own coming out.  I have many friends who are gay, who have shared with me that day that they took the leap and finally told their parents what they had always known.  Some of their stories are beautiful, filled with love, understanding and compassion.  Others are not.  I thank each and every one of you for taking the time to trust me, and the other people who read my blog to put it down in writing.  I think you’re some of the bravest people I know.  Your parents are lucky to call you, son/daughter.  Thank you also to a few of you who sent me links to amazing articles, and support groups.  I will keep them with me, and will share them with my daughter when I arrive in California next week, so that she may give them to her dear friend.  You’re incredibly thoughtful, and I love knowing that you’re out there, and that you care.  Thank you with much love.

There are very few things in the this world that I have less patience for than religious hypocrites.  Isn’t God LOVE??  And if he is Love, and the perfect example of a father, then how could he tell you to not love your own child??  Makes zero sense, no matter how you slice it.  The thing that will forever and always make me go “hmmm” about parents abandoning, or disowning their children due to their sexual orientation is that there are hundreds of thousands, there might even be millions of people out there who would give anything to become parents.  They plan for it, they pick names, they dream of the way their children will look, and yet, they cannot conceive.  So many loving couples who want nothing more than to complete their family with children of their own, who never get that chance.  I wonder if during their years of struggling to conceive if God were to come to them and say; “I will bless you with a child, this child will grow up healthy, strong, smart, conscientious, loving, kind…and gay.  Do you still want this child?”  I would bet you, that many of them would say yes.  And yet here you have wealthy parents, who had twenty years of all those blessings, memories, and joys with their son, who they no longer want; because he is gay.

I simply cannot wrap my brain around this.

Are you not grateful that you have a child at all?  Never mind that he is wonderful, kind, intelligent, healthy, and handsome.  You were given a child, and then all those extra blessings on top of the one of the biggest one of all; the gift of a child.  So many loving people never get this gift, and here you are snubbing it.

Shame on you.

No, really.  Shame on you.

Can parents like this not even remove their heads out of their own asses long enough to put themselves in his shoes for five hot minutes?  I mean do you think anybody wants/wishes that they be gay?  Think about it.  We have a man like Trump about to take office in five short days, with a VP who believes that gay people should under go; “electro shock therapy cures gayness.”  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  The lack of understanding, and basic human decency toward the LGBTQ community that the incoming administration has is reason enough for any young person who knows that they are gay, to not disclose this information.  They have enough to be worried about, to fear without the unexpected fallout of being cast out by their family’s.

I will say it again.  Shame on this young man’s parents.  Honestly, how lame is their God anyway?  It always amazes me when “Godly” people say “my God says homosexuality is a sin, and that we must cast out any gays, or try to rid them of their sin…”  Why?  I mean, if your God is so almighty, and if you totally buy into the “everybody is judged by the maker at the gates” then why not leave everybody to their own devices, and let your God hand out his judgement in due time?  Why do you feel the need to judge people while they’re here on this earth just trying to live their ONE life in peace, and authentically?  Why don’t parents like this, who cannot accept their own child as they are, just “leave it up to God” and do as Jesus did anyway?  In the event that you don’t recall what Jesus did in the New Testament, may I remind you here…he loved the sinners and the prostitutes.  He washed the feet of the poor, and gave to those in need.  He didn’t cast them out in judgement.  You religious people that live like this are living in your OLD TESTAMENT, when it was up to man to cast judgement on their fellow sinners.  And that was before the blood of the son was spilled to wash every sinner free of their sins.  Sounds to me that too many religious people, like this young man’s parents don’t really have all that much faith in their almighty God, or the blood of his son.  Which then makes Jesus’ death in vain…which makes you all sinners too.  Shame on you for giving your faith to such a small God.  My God is Love.  My God is kind.  My God made your son perfect.  You don’t need a new son, you need a new God…

Just saying…


  1. A year and a half ago, I ‘adopted’ a little brother. At the time I’d really started getting into Twitter, and was following various people, amongst them a couple of opera singers. Then a young tenor started following me, and having heard him sing on YouTube, I followed back. It soon became apparent, that he was gay, and that he had had a hard time coming out to his Bible-Belt family (he went to reform-camp at 14). He was sharing horrendous stories of young people cut off from their families, some even suffering physical abuse. I then stumbled across a story with a parent doing the absolute right thing, shared it with him, and his answer tore my heart out:”I wish my parents had been that supportive!” I told him I couldn’t be his parent, but I would be his sister. We’ve never met, but I love him to bits. (My parents were a bit surprised when I told them I now have a younger brother, but all was forgiven when they heard him sing)

  2. So proud of you for your words of wisdom and compassion. Perfectly stated. Mahalo, with love.

  3. Some people see religion as a guiding force; something that gives them love and community and friendship and a sense of being something bigger than they are. Others look at it as a weapon, an excuse to hold up to validate their own shortcomings as people, as (dare I say) the very Christians/purists they purport to be. It’s a crutch, it’s a tool, it’s an excuse. Some sort of vindication. It’s pathetic. My daughter has a very dear friend who is transgender. He began his process in high school (in, thank goodness, a pretty accepting art-school culture where he received lots of support) That support helped him through the absolute ridicule that he received at home. His family are Mormons and apparently it’s better to ridicule and toss aside family when they don’t “meet the criteria” than it is to just love your child. I will *never* understand that. While this was a whole new world for my husband and I, we encouraged our daughter to bring her friend around whenever she could, whenever he needed it. I’m glad that he felt comfort and warmth and a sense of belonging with us, but I felt anger and shame as a parent that he couldn’t get this with his own family. They have each gone off to different universities now, but I do hope he was able to glean something from our home and family. To those “parents” (and I use the term loosely), I would just say this: Don’t hide behind your religion. We all see what you are doing. You aren’t being “religious”. You’re being an asshole.

  4. Some people are just stupid!!! No matter what your child does/is gay/straight/wants to be a girl or a boy etc its still your child – the one you carried for 9 months or more the one you fell in love with when they were born – I cannot comprehend how someone could turn their back on their own child because they are gay! As you point out in your post some people are not fortunate to be able to have children of their own – just because your child grows up and does what they want to make them happy – then you should be supporting them for having the courage and conviction to do this and make sure they have the best life possible. LIfe is so very short – do what ever it is to make you happy 🙂 x

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