Last time I checked this is my OPINION blog, not my SURVEY blog.

I’ve been thinking a lot about social media, and what we’ve all come to label “internet trolls” lately.  Actually, the thought of dealing with trolls is what kept me off social media for years.  I remember when Facebook first became a thing, somebody from my high school, who once again wouldn’t reveal herself, sent me a message saying that she grew up to be a practicing witch, and that she had placed a curse on me way back in school.  I chuckled at her note because if anything, my life post high school has been mostly like a dream that I could never have imagined for myself.  Sure my life hasn’t been perfect, nor has it turned out at all in the way I had planned it, and thank God for that, because even with all the hardships, challenges and difficulties it has, so far, amounted to so much more than I ever thought I would get.  So, even though in my heart I knew that she was obviously pissed about something I had done to her decades ago, it gave me the creeps and I got off Facebook pronto, and stayed off social media up until a couple of years ago.  Even when I first came back to social media, I dipped my toe in with a private Instagram, just to see if I could stomach it.  But when I started shopping my writing in earnest, it was strongly recommended that I have a platform if I had any hope of landing an agent and a deal.

Now here I am, putting it all out there, writing this blog with the same tone, and irreverent spice that I’ve written my first non-fiction book with.  My blog is my opinion.  My blog contains my thoughts on how I view the world around me.  My blog is MINE, and some, many of you in fact, might not like it.  And I’m okay with that, twenty year old me would not have been, but forty-eight year old me totally gets it.  I know that you don’t have to like it, or me, because, like me you’re a free bitch and can read, follow, like, agree/disagree with whatever you want in this life.  And that’s the beauty of freedom.  We all have the right, and the ability to choose.  Choose what we say, choose what we feel, and choose how we react.  Nobody is holding a gun to your head, or mine to like one another.  If you read my blog and decide “hey this isn’t for me” cool beans, thanks for giving me a whirl, I appreciate you taking your time to check me out.  You don’t have to like me, anymore than I have to like you.  Move along.  Go read bloggers that resonate with you and how you see the world.

If there is one thing that anybody needs to know about me, in case it hasn’t been figured out by now, is that if you come after my girls, or my husband on social media I will defend them.  That is not being a person who writes from a defensive point of view, that is a wife/mother setting people straight and letting them know that how I roll is that I don’t take attacks against my family lying down.  I wish I wasn’t’ like this, I really do.  I so wish I was more like Jesus; “turn the other cheek” sort of person.  Or hell, I wish I was like the great Michelle Obama; “when they go low, we go high.”  I tend to be more of a “go for the jugular type spicy meatball.”  I mean, I’m not like that ALL THE TIME, there are times when I am the Jesus/Michelle best version of myself, actually lots of time.  If you saw what I deal with when pitching shows, shopping my books, how my girls mouth off at me, or when Yannick is pissy for no good reason, or the negative comments on my social media and my blog, you’d be surprised that I’m not lashing out more often.  I always say to YB; “if you could see how many times I’ve thought; ‘burn down the entire village, nobody gets out alive’ and NOT done that, you’d be so proud me.”

To which he often responds; “well that can’t be healthy.”  But it is what it is, some of us simply run hot.  I’m one of those people.  I definitely have all the pieces in the right place to be a woke ass, mouthing off on everybody’s social media type person, and yet I’m not.  So, if I, a self proclaimed mouthpiece, can manage to censor myself in a way that understands that not everybody needs to know what I think about them, or their opinions etc, etc, etc, is it really too much to ask other woke people to also check themselves better?  I happen to think not.

My all time favorite comment that woke people make on my opinion blog, is that I only agree with people who have the same point of view as me.  Well duh, aren’t we all like that???  Have you ever seen a Vegan date a carnivore??  But I digress…I mean, I can, and often do see the other person’s POV, but I don’t AGREE with it when it is opposite of mine.  I mean, why would I?   Isn’t that the entire point of having an opinion, or choosing a side of an argument?  Is that you believe in your side 100% which is why you’ve picked it???  I mean call me crazy, but that’s what I thought having an opinion, or a side, or taking a stand meant.  It means you’ve picked your team, and you’re going to support it, argue it, and stick to it no matter what.  No???  Look at Leafs fans, hell look at fans of #45.  You back your side, your opinion, your team no matter what.  I personally wouldn’t go that far, or ride that hard for my opinion, I’m also open to being wrong, and seeing a better way, but some people would, and do.  And to that I say, to each their own.  Love who love, back who you back, if it makes you happy.  But not everybody thinks like this, and this is what’s wrong with our world; too many people out there think that they don’t need to understand where you’re coming from because what’s important is that you must only see where they’re coming from.  This is ass backward to me.  Believing in my opinion doesn’t seem as crazy to me as the behaviour of people who don’t agree with you, yet bash you for not agreeing/thinking/coming over to their way of thinking.  Now those people really make me go “hmmm” and need to move along, because the last time I checked, this is my opinion blog, not my survey blog.


  1. Perhaps it’s the Romanian in you … I know that’s the case for me. Hell, I’m a killer combo of hot-blooded Romanian AND Irish! I often joke that “any day I’m not a headline is a good day”. At least, I think I’m joking 😉

    Sometimes I hate the internet because it makes everyone an expert, it encourages everyone to “show how smart they are” even when (especially when) they are not, and it gives everyone a universal soapbox to voice their concerns and/or their anger.

    But then I remember that the internet also brought me back to some of the girls I grew up with in grade school, that it helps to keep me feeling in touch with my daughter who is away at university, and that I can share GOOD things and search out GOOD things. And that makes me happy!

    But DAMN I can’t stand the damn trolls!! Augh …

  2. Well, this post of yours made me go hmmm strongly enough that I had to comment 🙂 Sorry in advance because half of me thinks I shouldnt post, as per you post, but the other part feels that I should because if you are right it means no change of opinions , no diferent viewpoints, it means ignoring the “other” and does that not lead to an apartheid of ideas, a widening of the gulf between people when aplied to the society in general? All of us living in our litttle bubble of likeminded folks?
    Granted you are talking about your blog or social media and l totally agree with you in that personal attacks of any sort have no place anywhere public or private but surely it is by an educated inteligent exange of ideas and view points that society evolves and us as individuals grow?
    As usual an interesting blog 🙂

  3. So someone wants you to think like them and is mad because you don’t? Well that is just idiotic And yes Your blog is Your opinion And readers should realize that. And of course you agree with people who have the same point of view and so do they. If they are honest about it. And if anyone comes at your family they better know that you should never poke the mama bear. You go back at them! You make me laugh so much, Love Love the Burn down the entire village… And even with only 2 kids and a husband and just one job, that totally describes the occasional feeling I would have, just never knew how to describe it.
    You keep on speaking your mind and sharing your thoughts. Those who don’t like it can go read something else or post their own much less impressive blog .

  4. Another great blog Mrs B. You never disappoint, you offer another perspective to many topics which are so relevant today. Well done! 👍🏻

  5. In total agreement with Marion. I love the challenges you put forward that open my mind and make me think. Your blog is my fave place to hang out on bad days and good. Please, don’t change a thing! I love how there’s no compromises where your family are involved, and I love your courage. Still trying to decipher ‘woke people’, so that’s my day’s challenge outlined :).
    Welcome back, it’s fun catching up with the dynamo that is you! xo

  6. This post comes just as I have read something similar from a Danish pundit. He is a wellknown tv-personality (news and debate, not reality or entertainment), whose half-sister killed herself a few days ago. She was a novellist and provocateur, known for her sharp tongue, especially when it came to their father. She effectively burned a lot of bridges with her half-brother (he was the youngest of four), when she wrote a book about her relationship with their father, wherein she (falsely, as it came out later, by her own admittance) accused him of child-molestation against her. She had been quiet for a few years, concentrating on raising her son (he is now 18 or 19). But three days ago she ended her life on her own terms.
    The pundit has a regular column in one of our morning papers every friday, in which he usually mocks/rakes over the coals politicians or the like. But Yesterday he had to write about the way people have changed the way they communicate, what they expect, and where the boundaries are to be found. It had been decided that he would be spokesman for the family, seeing as he knows many of the journalists, editors, and such. From the time it became known she had died (about 3 pm) until 12.30 am he spoke to 43 different journalists, most just wanting the facts he would give them, so they got it right. But one tried to put pressure on him, demanding to know cause of death (it had not been disclosed at that time) – and threatening to call the son of the deceased if her brother wouldn’t answer. As soon as the conversation was over, the pundit called the journalists editor, who promptly pulled the plug on the angle he was trying to follow.
    At the same time the pundit’s FB-page was innundated, mostly by people expressing their condolances, but also by horrible people demanding he write what had happened, that he write about his sister (so as not to seem heartless and vindictive), that he not write about his sister (because how they believe a word he said – I mean: he hated her!), and so on. It is just so horrible to think of! That a person doesn’t get to process the loss of a sibling, because the ‘public’ is too busy making him entertain them. (He just released a plea for the press to leave his nephew alone – because the poor boy shouls get to greive in peace, and not be contacted at work for a soundbite)
    There are days when the world disgusts me.

    As he writes:” Society is becoming like a Tinder-profile, where we swipe eachother right and left, and the sense of community is being forgotten. We forget that we are only experts in our own life.”

  7. Once again I say atta girl Shantelle. I used to not say boo while everybody else expressed their opinions. You helped me see I have a right to my opinion too and while I won’t shove it down anybody’s throat I have every right to express it. That is what I love best about your blog and the usually good discussions that often result❤❤

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