Kids don’t raise themselves folks, so if you’re going to have them, do your job.

All right we all know that there are “good parents” and “bad parents.”

My post yesterday wrote about the extreme example of not just bad, but brutal, cruel, insane parents.

Today I’m not talking about that level of “bad” parent, I’m mostly thinking about the ones who walk around behaving as if they’ve given birth to the most precious human being to ever walk the planet.  That these kids that they’ve given life to, are too good to be raised like regular human beings, or to be taught about the etiquette of the world around them.  I’m talking about the parents who are raising entitled assholes.  Guess what parents who are raising these types of people?  You’re the ones who are going to get stuck with them.  Not me.  Not their spouses who will dump their childish spoiled asses.  Not their bosses.  Not their friends.  Not their teachers.

You.  Because nobody else on the planet will be able to stand them, you will end up with them, living in your basement for their ENTIRE LIVES.  And when you’re bitching, and moaning about your shitty human that you made, to your ex-spouse, because even they won’t want to be with the sort of person who doesn’t think it’s important to raise a good citizen, remember you only have yourself to blame.

You did this, parents who parent this way create situations like this.  YB and I took our nephews to LACMA, there were these two kids who were walking down the upside of the staircase, and their, mom, was walking down the downside.  They were taking up the entire staircase, as I turned the corner of the lower staircase I had nowhere to go, so I stopped dead in my tracks and totally made an “are you kidding me right now bitch face” I know I did and I own it, because as you know, I have zero patience for entitled parenting.  Like none.  Have some respect for the other humans living on this planet with you.  Anyway, that’s when the mother looked at me and yelled:  “WHAT??? HE’S SEVEN!!!”

I looked at her and calmly replied:  “Cool.  But you’re not.”

Then she responded with; “With a response like that YOU ARE.”

Oh. Cool mom.  Great comeback.  Way to set the example bar SOOOOOO HIGH.  As a parent, my belief that the more socially responsible way to handle that interaction would have been to notice that you and your offspring were taking up the entire staircase when another human came upon you, stunned that there was nowhere to go, to reply; “Oh wow.  Sorry.” And simply move to the same side of the staircase as your children.  Show them that you, they don’t own the world, that other people inhabit it as well, and that we are all equal, and all deserve the right to move freely in it.  Clearly this mother didn’t share my views on equality.  Perhaps they shit in toilets made of gold at their house.  They might even have people who dress them in the mornings, and wipe their asses.  Maybe I’m just a lowly peasant human unworthy of breathing their air.  Foolish, foolish me, for thinking that I, a woman forty-seven years on this planet had the right to use the staircase in a public space while they were all on it.

Anyway, it makes for good posting material, and now I will let it go.

Enough now about two days of posting back to back blogs about the shitty parents out in the world.  In closing here’s something that will bring you great joy.  Well it will if you’re an Amy Adams fan.  Brianna, Dominique, and I stood next to her, her hubby and little girl in line for the Simpsons ride at Universal Studios yesterday, and from what I could tell by the interaction I witnessed between her, and her daughter…she’s a GOOD PARENT.  I was SOOOOO RELIEVED, because I LOVE HER.  The reason why I could determine that she’s doing a great job parenting is because her daughter was lively, confident, and polite when talking to us.  She also, if you’re interested to know this, is super nice.  As in, we chatted, about how these two adults were my daughters, and her little one was hers.  It was a totally cool, casual exchange…and she was friendly, even though she knew, that we knew, that she knew, we knew exactly who we were talking to!  She let us fan-girl talk with her and her family anyway.  And now, I love her even more!!!

4 Comments

  1. Your story reminded me of a situation I’ve been through almost 12 years ago. Back in the day I studied at two different schools: in the mornings I would go to the equivalent of high school in Brazil and in the afternoon I would attend a technological course in a polytech school in a nearby city. Between one school and another, I usually had lunch at what we call here a “popular government restaurant”, that serves meals for a relatively low price. The public in attendance in these restaurants are quite diverse, and that day, precisely, there were several mother with small children. I was the waiting line by the sidewalk to get in and in front of me there was a woman talking to a friend of hers. Her children (a boy aged +-7 and a girl aged +-5) were right beside. It was pretty obvious to everyone that the youngsters were annoyed, bored and starving – a bombastic combination. Soon they started to fight against each other. At first I thought “Okay, they are bored and are children, let them be”. But almost half an hour later and the situation scalated quickly. By then the fight was getting very nasty and the big brother was in large advantage. It was getting very dangerous as well, since they were almost leaving the sidewalk and hitting the street. Their mom was oblivious, of course, and continued talking to her friend. Then, when the little girl fell and was almost hit by car I couldn’t stand any longer and told the boy “Hey, calm down. Look what you almost did to her, and she’s so tiny!” In that moment the mom finally seemed to aknowledge them, she looked at me, said a very nasty word in Portuguese and added “Why don’t you take care of your life”. Needles to say I was speechless. Her kids were almost hurting each other and bothering everybody in that line and she didn’t said a single word to discipline them.

  2. As always, you’ve hit the mark, Shantelle.
    I see situations like this multiple times a day as a bellman and it never gets any easier to stay quiet.

  3. Well, she knew she was in the wrong, otherwise she wouldn’t have reacted! Simple as that.

    As for the celebrity kids: was waiting in the aiport for my flight to London in January, and as I came straight from work, was having a late lunch while doing so. (Work in the airport, making for a quick commute there if going straight from work to holiday-mode). A group of 6-7 year old boy, dad, and grandmother sit down at the next table. The father is one of Denmark’s best known (in Denmark) stand-up comedians. The boy is having a full-blown tantrum: crying, wailing, snot everywhere (he’d dropped something he loved, into a place where it couldn’t be retrieved, and was trying to process), utterly unhappy. Now, we are in a public place, and his dad being who he is is also attracting looks. But instead of just shutting down the kid, he is incredibly patient, explains (repeatedly) why the thing couldn’t be retrieved. (At this point I supplied a couple of Kleenex’s, as the kid REALLY needed them). The grandmother wisely let her son get on with the parenting, only stepping in, when dad went off to get his son something to eat (which he probably really needed). As a sidenote: the dad once swore, up and down, that he was never having children….

  4. Great to read of another adult who has the same view I do about these children – often even teens, who have obviously never been told how to behave respectfully toward other adults, other children, their siblings or even animals. The times I’ve seen behaviour such as you described, Shantelle, and simply bit my tongue because I knew the response from the parent would only be derision in my directions, not a shred of thought about the poor behaviour of their child. Oh, no, God forbid their child’s outrageous behaviour would required chastising. The only time I speak up is when there is a danger to the child and the parent(s) seem totally unaware of the imminent danger. An example is when I saw some 4 or 5 year old boys running up a down escalator. IF not aware, the escalator steps have exceedingly sharp strips of metal which if any child or person falls on an escalator, there is no doubt the injuries would include lacerations to a face or other areas which hit the stairs. I had a most unexpected slip on an up escalator and even though wearing jeans, ended up lacerating my shin for about 4 inches which at the end of the escalator journey, the blood was already soaking through the leg of my jeans. So, of course, silly 4 yr. old boys running up what is a down escalator have a very high chance of a slip and injurious fall ending up with a trip to a hospital. At the bottom of this escalator was a dad actually laughing at the antics of his sons. I intervened by saying to the dad, “You are aware if they fall, they will be very hurt.” The response was more like, “Well, maybe they won’t fall.” No care and concern for the boys at all. Shocking really. I yelled at the boys to get off the escalator as I was on the one going up and they did. As you said, without parents setting rules, children have none.

    Now for my biggest pet peeve about this issue. I cannot believe children of all ages, older than the ones who can sit in the baby seat in a shopping cart, are sitting with their filthy shoes in the larger basket area of the shopping cart as a mom or dad pushing them around a market and puts the food items all around their body. Some children are not children, but teens, huge bodies crammed in a shopping cart all because they are too lazy not to walk beside their parents and goodness me, maybe help their mom or dad do the shopping. After all, they sit at the table and eat the food paid for by their parents working. It speaks of such entitlement of the child/teens that they simply can’t be bothered often to do more than sit in a cart, often with a mobile device and ignore everything else. I do speak to a few parents when the children are big enough to walk, ask the child if they are too tired to walk. It seems a foreign concept their shoes are contaminating a moveable cart others use too with dirty shoes and even clothes, diapered children too.

    On one occasion, I witnessed a child of about 5 stand in a cart and fall out right onto her head. Within about 5 minutes, with the child still screaming, my friend and I who were both working nurses in Recovery Room at the time, had approached the mom and explained maybe her daughter should be checked out with a danger of concussion, etc. She really could have cared less. Shocking again – she put her child in danger, was responsible for the fall by being negligent about the child’s fall and then did not even take responsibility for the injury. My friend & I had to walk away seething about this non-caring and stupid action of allowing a child to stand up in a shopping cart.

    With the statistic of over 100,000 children in the US per year being seriously hurt falling out of shopping carts, I would love to see a new policy by stores stating only small babies can be placed in shopping cart. Guess though those negligent parents will only ignore that rule seeing as they are not teaching their children about any rules in society at all to follow.

    I guess each of us individually have to decide when to speak up or not. Sometimes it’s better not to as it spares a verbal altercation with a rude, non-caring parent.

    Peace.

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