I’m proud to say that I’ve ended the week with hitting almost thirty thousand words, and eighty one pages. For those of you who know how non-fiction works, you know that this is about half way done. Non-fiction differs from fiction in that they like them short and sweet, more like bite size reads. This first run at the first draft has gone extremely well, and I expect to me done and ready to send it to my editor by end of next week! Whoot Whoot!
As has been our custom on Friday’s I’m posting my articles from Milk N Heels, in case some of you still aren’t going over there automatically to check on what I have to say and what other cool things are going on there.
First up, this past week’s Motivational Monday piece…
I know what it’s like when you’re in love, when you just want to spend all your time with your significant other/your kids. You are IN love, it’s awesome, they’re your favourite people. Listen, you’re preaching to the choir. I’m famous for saying that my girls are my favorite people to hang out with. But, even with that in mind, may I make one small suggestion to you…make sure that you keep a healthy amount of me time in your life. It can be alone time, it can be girlfriend time, it can be with whomever you want to spend that time away from partner and kidlets with, but just make sure you do it.
There is nothing more isolating than spending all your time with your partner and your kids, leaving all the healthy girlfriend friendships you had before baby and significant other entered your life. I see this a lot; women who get caught on the hamster wheel of being a partner and a new mom. They forget to keep their outside relationships a priority. And listen I get it, I’ve been there. You barely remember to wash your hair, or get it cut, how the hell are you going to find the time to leave baby and your lover at home to go get your soul fed by spending time with girlfriends, or going to a movie alone, or hell making that appointment to get your hair done.
But, you must find the time my bad ass mommy friend. Your sanity relies on it!
Force yourself to carve out that time every week. If once a week seems like too big a bite to start with, how about you find one day each month where you can set aside me time. Use it for anything and make it as short as possible just so you can plan this time without any anxiety tied to it. Some moms can’t dream about leaving their kid(s) and partner on their own. If I’m being brutally honest, that has more to do with control than anything else, but this article isn’t about that.
Trust me, your little family wants their time away from you too…no matter how much they love you. Everybody needs space. Space is good. Space makes the coming back together so much more rewarding and special. Eventually, the time will come when you’re combining days apart from your crew to nourish yourself and be reminded that you’re so much more than mom, wife, chauffeur, nurse, teacher, referee. You’re you, the same badass you were before you started wearing all those other new and fulfilling hats.
Being a great mother means putting on your oxygen mask first. Don’t ever for a second feel guilty about taking care of yourself and taking time out of the busy-ness that is momming to spend some time all by yourself and for yourself.
Do it babes and have fun doing it!!
I have tried so many different methods-but I can’t get my baby to sleep at night! Now, the only thing that gets her to sleep, is me driving around all night. We even end up sleeping in the driveway in the car because she’ll finally sleep and I don’t want to wake her. Any suggestions????
Sleepless in Quebec
Dear Sleepless in Quebec,
Oh, do I ever feel for you. Our eldest daughter was exactly this way. The only way we would get her to go to sleep was to plop her in the car and drive around until she passed out. Though, unlike your daughter the minute we stopped the car she would wake up and scream the car, and then the house down.
I wish I knew then what I know now. And what I know now is that our eldest girl suffered from many food allergies and was in tremendous pain. Lying down especially seemed to give her gas, or what in adults we call re-flux. If I had known that she was suffering I would have rushed her into a reputable allergist’s office. Since my time has passed, and we all know none of us can turn back the clock and fix our errors from the past, I’m telling you to do this. Get her to an allergist right away, and who knows, maybe the reason this happened with my daughter was so that I might be able to help moms like you now.
Good luck and let me know what you uncover.