I get a lot of emails from people who feel like they give too much in their friendships/relationships. Whether these are business/intimate relationships or friendships, it is a universal recurring theme in our lives that we can all relate to. I thank those of you who share your stories with me for entrusting me with your hurt, and disappointments. Here’s the thing we all must remember. We are never, ever alone. No matter how much we give without receiving anything in return, or if we lose everything we’ve worked for, and find ourselves at the start line again. The beautiful thing about this wild ride called life, is that it is never to late to begin again. To put our heads down, dig deep, and find it within our souls to stand back up, chest and head raised high, knowing that if we’ve done it once before, we can, and will do it once again. Shit, we might even have to stand back up and begin all over again a good dozen times. None of us will ever know how many times life will knock us down, so we must be committed to getting up every single time it does.
Honestly friends, I feel as though I’ve had to start at the very beginning more times than I’ve had the blessing of getting over the finish line. But the cool thing about this is it has made me tenacious. It has given me the wisdom to teach my daughters that sometimes life doesn’t work out the first thirty-five times of trying. But, if it is in you, and if it is on your heart to go for it, then you must. Always. Go. For. It.
Then there is that part of life, that I know many of you relate to because you’ve shared with me, how you give more than you get in your friendships, your relationships, and your careers. I’m that girl too. I give of myself so quickly, so freely, that I’m often on the deficit side of receiving back. Two of our three girls are also this friend in all their relationships. When that happens, when a friend reveals their true colours, I, like my girls, spend hours crying at the loss of the relationship I believed was two sided. I’ve also spent many a day, and if I’m honest, sometimes WEEKS, crying over a lost career opportunity. Especially if that loss came at the hand of being led on to believe that a positive end result was around the corner. When I trust somebody, who is in a position of moving my career forward, who said they were going to, only to have them never do what they promised they would do with me/for me, my first reaction is to throw in the towel. To give up. To give in to doubt. I take it personally. I tell myself that I don’t have the talent, the ability, the creativity worthy of being moved forward in the direction of my ultimate goal.
And then something beautiful, and magical always happens when I stand back up, and dust myself off.
I get it done.
I propel my own career forward.
Or find a new home to live in, when all the money has in the past run out and the rent on that property could no longer be afforded.
When friends proved that they weren’t in it for the long haul, to support me through my thick and thin, the way I supported them, I found new friends. Soul friends. True friends.
You see, this is the incredible part of life my friends, it will always have shitty moments. You will undoubtedly lose something you worked your entire life to earn, or accomplish, a friendship you thought was mutual, will turn out to be a one way street once you reveal to them that you need their shoulder to lean on. But, the beautiful part of all these “downs” in your life, is that it will draw out your ability to stand on your own two feet, it will teach you what type of people to avoid in the future, and it will give you the greatest gift of all.
The gift to be able to stand on your own two feet, no matter what the world throws at you; and that, my dear friends, is worth all the tears you might cry as you go forward in your life journey.
Big love, xo
p.s thank you for sharing/trusting your stories with me, I know I don’t have the time to respond to you all individually, but, I hope this post today let’s you, who have shared these types of life stories with me, know that you are not alone, and that I’ve heard you. Keep on being your best you, don’t let other people’s shit dim your light, never, ever, ever.