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Is it a parent’s job to teach their kids about dressing appropriately?

Let me begin this post that compliments and expands on the Prime Time Local segment that covered the subject of age appropriate clothing for kids with this disclaimer:  We are not all going to agree, so in the case of what and how kids should dress, let’s just agree to disagree.

But, that doesn’t mean that I’m still not going to expand on the comments that I made in that segment.

Look, you are the parent in charge of raising your kid.  It’s not my kid, it’s not my job, and quite honestly, it’s none of my damn business.  That is, unless the way you’re raising your child directly negatively affects my child.  If it does, well then it is my business.  But, how a parent allows their kid to dress does not impact my life in any way, shape or form.  I feel the same way about this as I do about who people fall in love with.  To each their own.  And whatever makes somebody happy, do that.  But, when it came to my daughters, and how they dressed; I was very strict with them, especially when they were younger.  I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times, I’m old fashioned.  I believe that people can be sexy without their boobs, their nuts (I have seen this live and in person by the way) and asses hanging out of their clothing.  I also believe that, whether it’s right or wrong, and this is a part in this post where you don’t have to agree with me, but the way we dress can affect how people react to us.  It can cause them to react positively and respectfully, or negatively and with judgement.

I’m not saying I agree with this, or that I back people who make judgements on people based on how they present themselves, I’m simply saying that whether we like it or not, people still do this.  Yeah it sucks, and sure, one day it will change, but for now, we need to, as parents, set our kids up for success in their day to day lives by teaching about appropriate attire when going to school.  It will help make their lives simpler with the other kids, and their teachers.  Because let’s be frank here, life is already challenging enough, there are already enough organic reasons why kids bully other kids, another thing I can’t stand, but it is a fact.  So parents, do we really want to put our kids in the line of fire, opening them up to school yard terrorism by allowing them to dress in a way that will draw negative attention?

Fair question, no?

Listen, I went through this with all three of my girls.  I know your struggle, when as a parent you’re battling with feeling like you’re “censoring” them, not raising them.  And questioning as to whether or not it is your right to kill their independent spirit.  But, sometimes, and especially in the case of age appropriate clothing it is the time to be the adult, and explain to them the perils that, unfortunately come with the showing “more” attitude toward dressing.  It’s not impossible, or wrong to have the expectation that you can go out for a bite to eat with your kid without worrying that some piece of their anatomy is going to fall out of too short shorts.

You get what I’m saying???

Can I get an AMEN?!

 

1 Comment

  1. Welcome Back!!! I’m the parent of two grown people. My son and my daughter. I have always tried to set an example to them about their appearance. My Mother stressed to me the importance of having dignity. A Black woman growing up in the South back in the day knew the importance of looking your best and going out the door with your head held high simply there was a world out there that judged you by your skin. So even if you had two dresses you washed on and wore the other. I grew up in the time of Rosa Parks and Freedom Marches and Dr. King. You didn’t go out looking like a slob or that you didn’t give a crap about how you looked. You were to dress with Dignity and act like you had some home training. My Mom used the word ‘common’ when she would see something that went against everything she had ever been taught. I went to the movies once with a guy in college back in my hometown and I got dressed up. He had on jeans and an old shirt. He asked me why I was dressed like that. I simply told him that if someone saw me and knew my Mom and it got back to her that out and look bummy I’d hear about and it would not be nice. I’ve passed this down to my kids and as my Daddy used to say to me, “Don’t go out of this house looking like no one cares about you.”
    Glad you feel refreshed!

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