Blog

If you spend more time feeling insecure in your relationship than not, maybe there’s a better one out there for you.

There seems to be a lot of focus and discussion in the on-air segments about how to thrive in a relationship when giving your partner the space they need to enjoy the partnership. This is such a delicate dance, because let’s be honest, no two people are the same and no two couples have the same needs.  I have friends who enjoy sharing with one another any time they see an attractive person on the street.  They actually have it as a thing that they must do in their relationship, that is to tell the other about people they think are hot, in the moment.  Honestly, between you and me, if Yannick decided to share his appreciation for a good looking person every single time he saw one, I might just shove him in front of a bus.  Like, seriously, I don’t need to know that.  And listen, before you message me back to tell me that I’m being ridiculous or childish, let’s be clear.  I don’t for one moment think he doesn’t find other people attractive, all day long every single day, that’s not at all what I’m saying here.  I know he finds other women attractive.  Good Lord how can he not??  There are sooooooo many beautiful, interesting and unique people out there in the world.  I’m simply saying that I don’t need to know it every single time he thinks it.  Can I get an Amen?!

Then there are couples who need to spend all their time together, and there are those who basically come together at night, and enjoy taking separate holidays from one another.  It takes all sorts to make the world go round, and no two relationships are alike, and that’s a very good thing.  Everybody has different criteria that makes up their person.  But, I can’t stress enough how important it is within your relationship to have the safety, space and comfort of being able to be authentic.  If there is no space to be truthful in what we need, then guess what, the partnership will begin to feel one sided, where the dominant partner is enjoying the relationship that is set up in all the ways that make them feel happy and content, while the other partner is feeling like none of their needs are being met.  Relationships are all about balance.  Both parties need to feel like their needs are being met, and feel equally satisfied within the structure of the union.  So, if you find yourself shacked up with somebody who is all take and no give, like Kohl is when we’re playing ball, which I can assure you gets old and super frustrating really fast to be playing with somebody who only wants to play their way?!  Imagine how much more upsetting it is being in an intimate partnership with somebody who quite enjoys the balance of the scales being tipped in their favour all the time?  I can tell you that lasts only five minutes with my dog, and then I’m moving on, so how much longer should a person endure this in a relationship??  My recommendation, not too long.  If you find yourself tangled up with this sort of intimate partnership, where you spend more timing being unsure of their commitment to you, and not having the ability to speak openly and truthfully with them so you can get your needs met, then I would be asking myself the tough question as to whether or not the relationship is the right one for me.

And only you, my friend can answer that question.

xo

Shantelle

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *