If there was one thing you could heal within yourself, what would it be?

We all have the one thing, or maybe more than one thing, if you’re anything like me that you would change about yourself if you had the tools.  At the tail end of 2015 I read, and committed myself to my own Year of Yes, thanks to Shonda Rhimes’ book of the same title.  I was, in the past a very extroverted introvert, and saying “yes” to things that made me uncomfortable was always a struggle.  That book came into my life at the exact perfect moment, and I embarked on a scary year of saying yes, whenever I wanted to say NO.  That year, of 2016, saw me reach out and make a new friendship with a dynamic, powerful, kind, and generous woman, that from the outside intimidated me more than just a little bit; Natasha Koifman.  That friendship provided me with so many opportunities to say yes to living my life more publicly, and doing more for worthy causes, such as APJ, that I felt transformed and empowered.

Long story short, I grew a great deal that year, and that personal growth inspired me to give myself another challenge for the year 2017; which was living a Year of Firsts.  The cool thing with that year, was that it piggy backed perfectly onto my Year of Yes.  It opened me up further to explore other areas of my life that I had yet to participate in because I had gotten into the habit of saying “no” to new experiences.  And you know what happened in the year 2017?  I grew some more.

I was like a butterfly slowing coming out of my self made cocoon, and it felt amazing.  So amazing in fact, that I continued with my self inflicted growth challenges and decided to commit myself to a Year of Wellness for 2018.

What a year this has been.

I’ve had to dig down deep and ask myself some incredibly challenging questions as to why I make some of the choices that I do.  It hasn’t been easy, and there have been many days where it hasn’t been pleasant either.  Because we all know that wellness is not only about how we look on the outside, actually true wellness has more to do with how we’re doing on the INSIDE.  And there were a lot of corners of myself that still weren’t being “dealt” with.  So, I’ve gone into those dusty corners, and asked myself some tough questions, and brought some habits, mostly habits that deal with my perspective on life, into the light.

What I’ve learned about myself, and my mental well being is that I have complete control over where I want my thoughts and feelings to go.  I can let them run rampant and manifest into things that do not serve me, or I can meditate on them, understand them, thank them for showing up, and release them.  Trust me, as a fully committed A-type, hyper controlling person, this has been, not only the greatest struggle in this year of wellness, but probably of my entire life; not allowing my emotions and negative thoughts to control me.  With more than half the year behind me, I won’t say that I’ve mastered it, but I will say this, my days, and sometimes weeks of living in the darkness of my own black emotions, has now turned into mere hours.

This is the relief from myself that I’ve always craved.

This is the peace that I’ve always longed for.

This is the part of me I’ve always wanted to heal.

This is what I’ve always wanted, and I attribute so much of finally getting here to the incredible book: GET WHAT YOU WANT by Tony Burroughs.  I’m thankful for a great many things, but top of my list at the moment is this book.  If you have dark dusty corners of yourself that you want to finally deal with and heal, run and get this book.

This has been an unsponsored PSA.



PHOTO CREDIT: an oldie but a goodie @thekittyholland


  1. Shantelle, I cannot thank you enough for opening yourself up and dealing with the darkness that would take over your psyche. I have found myself in a similar situation where I say no to a lot of things and not enough yes. I struggle with negative thoughts and although I try to push them aside, I lose that battle more than win it. So, I went and got the book you recommended, just got it actually, and so far I’ve found a peace just reading the first few pages. I want to get rid of the negative. It’s hard, that’s for sure, but I’m a determined bitch and will eventually learn how to put these unserving thoughts behind me. More times than not, I find that my negative thoughts never come to fruition, and always had me wonder why do I do this to myself. So far this book has given me a reason. Which for me is what I needed, the reasons why, then the “how to” break the habit of going in that direction instead of looking to the light. Thank you once again for your inspiration. You are an angel on this earth for those of us that need a positive intervention.

  2. Good Evening Shantelle. This blog was an eye opener for me. The one thing I would love to change about myself is to follow through on what I start. I’m gung-ho at the start but in a few weeks or months I taper off or just quite. I don’t know why I do this and I get do mad at myself for quiting. It can be anything from exercising to taking my pills.
    My husband thinks it’s from my early childhood. With being abused and told you’ll never amount to anything.
    Snantelle💗💜 do you think I’d I read this book could it help me see the light at the end of this dark tunnel.
    I am blessed every day with the love of family and great friends. My daughter and husband try and make me see but I don’t. I fo love them for trying to make me see that following through gets things done. I only get mad and walk away.
    thank you for sharing and keep up the great amazing blogs 💗⚘💗

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