From the blog

If I had a crusty co-worker I would try everything to mend the rift.

Well, well, well, it seems like pretty much everybody has been in this situation with a co-worker.  I have to say I’m sort of stunned.  Maybe it’s because I work from home, or because I work for myself, and the only person I can really have a problem with in my job, is me.  And even for a Gemini fighting with oneself seems useless.

My girls have had soooooo many issues with co-workers.  Yannick has, luckily, only had a few.  Most of his set experiences have been amazing, although the only co-star he ever remained super close to is Rick.  Nobody else.

I have to say that the advice that I’ve always given my girls, and him is the same; try to ignore the instigator at first.  You know, the go high when they go low piece.  I suggest this because I like to believe that what people are really after is a reaction, if you give them one then they will persist, if you don’t they will move on and find somebody else to pester, bully, or dislike.  Because where I come from, people who are filled with animosity can always find another target to spew their vileness at.  I never, ever encourage them to play the tit for tat game, it’s childish, and it’s not good for the karma bank, which I believe we should all be actively making deposits into, not withdrawals with shitty behaviour that could be avoided.  Besides, when a superior catches wind of the drama and the bullshit, which they always do; the best position to be in, is to be the person above reproach.

Now, should your ignoring them, not help, such as it didn’t in the case of our troll, then my advice is to go directly to the source and ask them; “WTF is your problem with me???”

Maybe leave out the F portion, but seriously, take the time to face them and attempt to get to the bottom of it all, and if that doesn’t work.  Like the person is just a bitter, aggressive, unkind=unwell individual, then I would not hesitate to go to a superior and get that shit on the record.

I mean, let’s be honest, most of us are going through life trying to keep the peace, and to be at peace.  I also believe that in many situations people aren’t in a job that they’re deeply passionate about, so for some it is a chore to get up and go to work day after day, never mind that once they get there they have a pain in the ass hateful co-worker to deal with.

UGH.  Can you IMAGINE???  I wouldn’t let that drag on for very long AT ALL.  I would be all over that like white on rice. First; I’d take the high road, hoping that they would get bored of hating a person who could give less than zero fucks about being hated.  If that didn’t work, then I would do, as I have done many times in the past, go right up to said person who has an issue with me and ask them what the problem is, and what the solution can be.  If that failed, well, then I’d go to the top and let it be known what was going on; and I would hope that my superior would handle it swiftly, and fairly so that we all could carry on doing our jobs with joy in our hearts and a smile on our faces!

And what a wonderful world it would be!

xo

SB

3 Comments

  1. As Always your Solutions are Just Right. Thanks for all of the WWYDWs
    You and YB have A Great weekend at the Cottage. I now the Boys will. Kohl sure gets excited 🙂

  2. Oh this topic is more than near and dear to my heart. I quit a job over this.It’s not easy.
    I enjoyed what I did just not with certain people at that particular job.
    Life is short and you should be happy where you work.
    All it takes is one rotten apple. Recently I witnessed a co-worker yelling at someone for a VERY petty thing. The person being yelled at is VERY VERY easy going.
    I asked them later about it and they said I just picture her as I picture my parents when they are getting older, they lose their temper and don’t take it personally. Well it still bothered me even though they weren’t yelling directly at me. Sooooo I always protect the under dog and myself.
    I had a conversation with the bully. In a casual manner I explained if you ever have a problem with me it would be appreciated that you have a discussion with me. Yelling at me doesn’t help in any way shape or form. She said “oh yah in regards to yesterday that was no big thing”…are you kidding me people could hear you screaming 200 ft away. When you lose your temper you don’t only affect the person you are yelling at you are affecting everyone around you.
    Drop your ego and have a frank discussion.
    In the end if you have tried EVERYTHING possible. It maybe time to just walk away.

  3. Sometimes the structure if the workplace doesn’t allow for superiors to work it out. At my college, faculty had their own union and my boss was one of the officers, the three others were her best buds. So no relief there. And administration had no power over faculty. My dean was sympathetic because this woman had driven out 2 great librarians before she headhunted me. But faculty and admin are two separate adversarial camps. Admin would have a very hard time disciplining her because the union would go to bat for her despite the prior complaints. My revenge, if you can call it that, is that I retired on a faculty buy out so I got my freedom and was paid a bonus for it. Had I been younger, I would have found another job. It wasn’t worth the aggravation.

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