Gratitude, and heartbreak are frequent bed mates…

Guys what a wild twenty-four hours we’ve all experienced, and so many “hmmms” to go around that I’m compelled to write another collection of them, rather than my usual musing on just one topic that confounds me.

First, let me begin by extending my most sincere gratitude to the wild, outpouring of support that yesterday’s post received.  Guys you crashed my site, not once but TWICE!  How f’n cool is that??  Thanks so much for giving a damn, not only for my writing, but also my bluntness, and my unwillingness to simply let hatred lie.  I also want to thank you for the beautiful words so many of you took the time to write about, and for, the amazing man I have the privilege to call husband.  Your kind words about the man you’ve come to know over the years were heartwarming, and it is important to me that you know that none of your messages have gone unread.  It’s just too bad I/we can’t reply to all of them personally, but it is important to me, and definitely to him, that you know that we haven’t missed a single one, or so we hope!  And honestly, what an amazing hashtag #AwesomeDad is, hell yeah Mr B certainly is that, in spades!

I also want to acknowledge the beautiful ripple effect that those of you who created when you began donating to the charities that we stand behind in order to turn #loveintohate.  That’s totally amazing, and I’m moved to the point where I don’t have the vocabulary to adequately express how deeply that has touched me.  So thank you, every single one of you,  the kids are the ones who will reap the most from your generous action/choice to “kill them with kindness.”

Something I didn’t get into yesterday, and it was actually super cool the way the universe moved, handing me that bitter lonely woman’s diatribe of hate, which prevented me from writing about what was really on my heart while I was still in shock.  Our sweet boy Kohl was diagnosed with a mast cell tumor.  I can’t describe what it feels like to go to the vet with my four legged boys for a routine checkup, before heading to our house in California, only to come out with a cancer diagnosis.  You would think with the number of times I’ve taken my boxers to the vet for a non urgent visit, yet somehow left with a need for surgery, would have made me immune to it.  But I can assure you that despite the discovery of Mack’s prostate tumor at age three, his mast cell tumor diagnosis at four, losing his brother Kuda within six weeks of his lymphoma diagnosis three and a half years ago at age eight, and then Mack with his thyroid tumor this past May that I would be a pro at receiving this sort of news.  Yet I am not.  I’m trying to keep it together, to not panic, to not “go there” in my thoughts, but even all these years later none of these cancer diagnoses prepared me for that sort of conversation with our youngest two year old boy, Kohl.  Perhaps I wasn’t prepared for it because I had taken such precautions to get Kohl from a breeder with completely different lines than Mack and Kuda.  I did my research to ensure this new breeder (to us) had lines that had never presented with cancer, or heart disease, of which Kohl somehow has both.  Those of you who have been following me since my early days, way back when I had the blog Canceradogsjourney about Mack, will know that based on what level the tumor comes back from the lab, can make the difference between nothing to worry about, or a prognosis of a very short time to live.  Let’s just say that even though I’ve been down this road before, and although the prognosis of 4-6 months to live that Mack was given never came to be, thanks to what I believe was a joint effort between holistic and western medicine, I really wasn’t prepared for another dog of mine to get a cancer diagnosis.  I really don’t get it.  How is that the dog can come from a completely different line, be raised on organic food, no grains, drink alkaline water that comes from a house that has a complete filtration system and doesn’t get vaccinations (other than rabies)has never been given flea and tick pesticide medicine still get cancer?  How, how, how??  I refuse to give into despair, I will hold onto faith that our newest family member will live a long, full, healthy life and that this my friends is just a bump in the road.  Please keep our boy Kohl in your prayers today.

A debate about who shall be our next Conservative Leader here in Canada took place these past twenty-four hours.  One guy, Steven Blaney, actually brought a nuclear prop to the debate to drive his point home that that’s the best way to source energy…my guess is his bid is already done.

The past twenty-four hours has seen another devastating earthquake, this time in Indonesia.  My thoughts and prayers are with every body there, I can’t imagine what that is like to live through.  It would seem that even our beautiful planet is done with 2016…

And finally, the worst thing the past twenty-four hours has given us is that Time Magazine has given Donald Trump their title and cover for Person of the Year.  Is this the juggernaut magazines way of “normalizing” the controversial President elect, I haven’t read the article yet, but I certainly hope not…

 

4 Comments

  1. Oh no, not Kohl too. What is going on in the dog world? You must be beside yourselves with worry, of course I send prayers and big hugs for both of you.
    I can’t even fathom why Time would choose him, if I had a subscription it would have been cancelled yesterday.
    Take care xx

  2. Shantelle & Yannick:

    I’m so sorry to hear about Kohl’s diagnosis. Seems like the world is shitting on you right now. But, don’t let it get you down! You guys, and your girls, are choice people, strong people and only the strong can handle the crap that comes on us in buckets at times. I have you all in my prayers!

    You’re good people! Don’t let anyone or anything change your hearts. Have Faith, it does move mountains.

  3. Oh MCT how I remember my 2yr old pug cross Penny. Toronto has one of the best oncologist in North America. The dog cancer survival guide is written by his colleague who works out of both LA and NY. Dr. Finora at central toronto referal vet on 1051 Eglinton west. I understand your concerns as to how. The book helped me I make her food and stopped her rabies vaccine as it is one that can cause MCT to return instead we did titre testing. You can lean on us for support

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