When is being a fan, just that, and when is it crossing a line???


The other day I received a message on my Twitter account, that said, and I’m paraphrasing here; “Oh how lovely it is that you and Yannick can attend things like concerts without being ‘bothered’.”

Oh.  You spoke too soon.

Let me preface this post by saying for the most part people are quite lovely, respectful, and generally don’t even talk to him/us when they come across us out and about in the world.  They might smile, letting him know that they know who he is, but often they don’t cross the line of approaching for a photo.  But then there are also the people who literally have zero boundaries.  This might be because there is alcohol at play, or it might be thanks to social media people feel like they know people they watch on TV.  I know my entire content of my blog has me “open for business” as it were.  Which I’m totally here for.  I built it that way, and I like it.  We’re all fans on some level.  Hell, even Yanny Bissony himself during the photo op we purchased for my dad, and ourselves, so we could be there with him when he met them, got a little “weird” with the guys of Chicago, on YB’s part.

There we were walking up for our time to get our photo taken with them, which we know from being back stage with Rick, and meeting Kiss this exact same way, there is no time for “chit chatting” this is NOT a meet and greet, this is a photo op.

Line up.  Walk up.  Stand with the band.  Move along.

Otherwise, as we’ve seen first hand with YB himself, how a night without any order can turn into a huge disaster with nobody getting what they thought they were getting, or what they came for.

So, knowing this imagine my surprise when Yannick got pretty chatty with the guys.  I think he front loaded tequila before he got to the concert, since I only bought him one drink.  Anyway, whatever was going on, it was quite funny as he stood with the guys and asked; “Do you guys spend any time in Malibu?”

To which they responded; “Yeah of course.”

“You probably know my best friend.”

The guys look around, wondering how on earth they might know this dude in Toronto’s best friend from Malibu…I do what any good wife does and come in for the save.  “Oh he’s talking about our good friend Rick, Rick Springfield.”

The band lights up.  They all start saying; “Yeah, of course.”  “Totally know Rick.”  “Keith here played with Rick…”

Meanwhile the handler in charge of keeping things moving is now sweating bullets.  I delicately lead YB away from the band as he calls over his shoulder; “See you guys in Malibu in December.”  Sure Fanboy Yanny Bissony, I’m sure you will.

It happens to the best of us.  And in the right scenario it’s not only okay, it’s welcomed.  Artists are thankful for the support, they love that you’re listening, that you’re watching, that of all the things, you as an audience member could be doing/watching/listening to with your time, you’ve chosen them.  It’s flattering for sure.

But you know what isn’t flattering ladies.  Googling the shit out of my husband when you’re literally right in front of me, and then trying to catch his eye to get his attention to do, what?  I honestly don’t know?  Get the photo?  This I don’t understand.  We all know we can see one another’s screens when in a stadium situation, we’re literally on top of one another.  Also what isn’t cool.  Is when me, the wife is walking, minding my own business and a lady with her husband comes up to me, grabs my arm and says; “Hey I’ve seen you with the guy from Murdoch all night.  Are you married to him?  Is he your husband? Cuz he’s soooo hot.  You know he’s hot right.”

I stand there mouth agape wondering, if her husband had also been what one considered “hot” would she have liked it very much if I just randomly pulled her aside to let her know that?

Maybe she would have.  But my guess is she would think I was off my rocker, and crossing a boundary.  So if it wouldn’t be okay for me to treat her this way, why should it be alright that people treat me this way?  The answer is it isn’t.

I get why Chris Pratt, Justin Bieber’s and countless others have started to no longer oblige people with photos.  Some times it just isn’t the right moment for it.  Sometimes a person who is in the public eye should really be allowed to enjoy their night the same way you’re enjoying yours, off the clock as it were.  Anyway, the woman who googled him got her photo, I hope she’s happy.  As for the woman who wanted me to know my husband is hot, I wish I had had the words to just let her know that maybe that’s not an appropriate thing to say to another woman about her husband.  As for the lovely couple who were in line in front of us for the photo op with Chicago, married almost as many years as the band has been together.  They did it right.  It was a quiet moment, we were all standing in the same place at the same time, and she kindly asked for a photo, “if it wasn’t too much trouble.”

So to answer your question Twitter friend; we don’t actually get to go out to concerts, or anywhere anymore without some requests for photos, or at least one inappropriate fan interaction.  And the bottom line is; “we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.”  If he doesn’t give them the photo he’s a dick; and if he does, where does it stop so that we can just be a couple out enjoying a date night with loved ones?

And before anybody comes at me with hate for being ungrateful, please reread the section of this post that talks about the deep sense of gratitude not only YB has for the love people have for his work as Murdoch, but every artist we know who feel the same sense of wonder that they have fans.  That being said, some days it would be nice to not have to, in my case, deflect comments from people that aren’t well thought out.  You know the saying; walk a mile in somebody else’s shoes before approaching somebody you’re a fan of.  I have to do it all the time when I’m living in Malibu for the winter.  I see soooooo many people I’m a huge fan of, but am content to be thankful for the sighting, with no need for further interaction.  I guess for me, being an idealistic person, I’m always hoping that others will treat me as I would treat them.  I wouldn’t grab photos of your man cuz he was good looking, or google him, and I wouldn’t tell you that your hubby was hot.  I suppose the bit about all of this that makes me wonder, is when are people just being fans, and when are they going that little bit too far???  And how do I, the wife ask people to just “back off.”

Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm.


  1. The retort that popped into my head when I read about the classless married woman who thought your hubby hot – “Of course I know he’s hot – it’s one of the million reasons I MARRIED him!”

    PS – I think most of us think he’s wonderful (and definite eye-candy) but I find it’s his manner, intelligence (most of the time, he is of course still a man 🙂 and sweet and gentle nature (Napkin Man) that makes him so attractive. Granted his fine physique and dreamy eyes certainly round out the total package! 😉

    I personally think you are both lucky to have found each other in this crazy world. I wish nothing but the best for both of you – you both make the world a better place.

  2. I think Johanne’s first paragraph sums it up well. Loosened inhibitions due to alcohol/stimulants/excitement etc. can induce some people to be rather forward. Then there are some people who are just brash, no matter what the situation!

    I can well imagine you would have been very taken aback by the woman telling you how hot YB is, especially with her own husband/partner with her. That is definitely very brash.

    It’s an interesting thing, given you mentioning YB getting chatty (and I suppose would have been quite keen to continue if it had been possible) at the Chicago photo op! I guess fans all over can get easily excited when seeing people in the entertainment industry whom they admire.

    Perhaps there’s also the likelihood that people feel they ‘know’ you and your family from what you share in your blogs, so they act as if you and YB are long-time friends….?

    It does seem to be a fine line in appeasing fans when you are out and about, and asserting your need for space, I guess you could say while you thank them for their attention, you are having some quiet time together, or family time…whatever the situation is, and ask if they would be so kind as to let you respect your privacy. Not sure if that would work…might be worth a try, though.

  3. I have to wonder what the husband of the woman was thinking when she mentioned how hot your hubby was. Anyway, that said, there should always be some boundaries, but we all know there are many who don’t seem to mind crossing them…

  4. When i was younger, i worked at the University Club of Buffalo. Our members, some of tbem local celebrities, would often bring in guests with national celebrity. I thank the Club for setting the standard of how i was to behave around these folks when they were out trying to have a night with friends. I only wish everyone could have this experience.

  5. I’d say most people know how to interact with celebrities (who are just people too), but alcohol and/or exitement can seriously deplete common sense and decorum. The situation is then entirely dependent on the way the celebrity handles the attention.

    I work in an airport, and sometimes we see the results of tween/teen exitement with the arrival of certain celebs. Recently a couple of teen-idols landed from Norway, sending a large contingent of girls into a screaming frenzy. Every time the doors from Customs opened, they let out a scream (this went on for about 1½ hours), prompting one of my customers to say “I didn’t know you had a rollercoaster here…” When they had arrived and left they airport, there was a regular stampede down to the trains, so the girls could get to the venue – one girl ran full-tilt into our barrier, picked herself up, and kept running….

    On the other hand, I get to help celebs who are travelling incognito (as much as they can), and I can always tell that they appreciate being able to buy a trainticket without me being a giggly mess (on the outside…)

  6. Thank you Shantelle for writing this! As a fan of both you and Yannick, I always consider the impact of fame. Keep putting your thoughts out there so that people may understand the impact on others. I do hope you did enjoy the concert. And, so glad to hear that you are feeling better!

  7. Lovely story I get it. I am a big fan of YB but I am a bigger fan of a man and women that can have a life that seems to be normal with celebrity in the mix wow awesome. I know I would be the guy that gives a smile and a nod as as I walk by . I am a custodian in a middle school in Oromocto NB and from the little I read about you guys , your family seem wonderful and I wish for you many happy encounters with the public.

  8. I have no talent for acting or any other talents that could bring me fame (I’m just a boring CPA). So I will never be able to walk in your shoes, but I get what you are saying. I have the upmost respect for our professional entertainers, and I believe, unless they are paid to be out and about to entertain the fans, people should leave them alone. It’s their time and theirs alone. I wouldn’t intrude on people I don’t know, why would I do that to a celebrity. However, that does not mean that if you were behind me in the line at a grocery store that was stalled by an annoying customer, I might have to turn around and express my displeasure even if you happen to be famous.

    Have a great weekend!!

  9. Lord in heaven, what is WITH people??? That was a totally inappropriate thing to say to you! Honestly, WTF??? Girl, you keep your composure in situations where I think I’d freak! I know you have to keep your head but damn!!!

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