I am late to the party, because, well purchasing a marina has added a few extra things to my “to do” list these past few days; and our youngest is visiting from LA this week as well. So let’s get right to it. The first segment from last week’s Prime Time Local News was all about curfews. Which parents love, and kids hate. So, where is the happy medium in order that we may all reside in our abodes, in peace?
For me, I honestly say to each their own, when it comes to giving your child a curfew.
But, I do have this one question for parents; “are you letting your child stay out too late on weekdays and weekends because there is a part of you that just needs that break/alone time away from your kid?”
This is not a judgement question this is an honest one.
I mean, I’ve been there done that. I’ve raised three kids into adult hood and I know how f’n exhausting the process is. I know that there are days when you’re like; “please, just go to your friends house and maybe sleep over for a day, or two, or three.”
Parenting is a HUGE job and there are times when you honestly just need a break. This is normal, this is completely understandable. We’re all only human after all. But, I do want to caution you to not get into this habit, of; “just getting the kids out of your hair” by allowing them to go out more than they’re staying in. The world is not as it was when we were out roaming the streets. I know of kids who have “tried” sex at thirteen. My friend who works in emerg at one of our hospitals told me of a young girl (with braces) who just admitted herself, because after snorting cocaine from 11pm one day until 1pm the following day, was afraid she was going to die. I’m not saying your kid is going to get up to these sorts of shenanigans, I’m just saying the less rope you give them, the less likely they are to hang themselves with it. Be mindful of a few things; the crowd your kid runs in, and the way their friends are being parented, and then based on those things determine when, where, and how long your kid can hang out with them after school, and on weekends.
Listen, the reality is our kids are going to do what they’re going to do. We’re not with them 24/7, and they have their own character. Some kids are more curious than others; some like to live on the edge and have the “try anything once” attitude. As a parent it is imperative that you know your child and their tendencies, then guide them accordingly. There’s no way to keep a mischievous child from experimenting with things you may not want them to, but, there sure is a way to protect them from trying it out too soon. I’d tell you not to lose any sleep over what your kid may or may not get up to when they’re not home with you, but, as a fellow mom, I know that as parents there is always that little bit of worry in the back of our mind about what our kids are doing when we’re not there. At the end of the day I only have this to say: raise them well, teach them about respect, honesty, and safety and chances are, they will hear your voice in the back of their mind when on the brink of making a bad decision. Then remind them that no matter what they’ve gotten up to while “out on the town” your number is one they can always dial to be picked up at any hour of the day or night without judgement. Let them know that you are their safe place, and will extract them when they’re in over their heads; with love. Then when that phone call comes, as it did for us many times, don’t judge, or parent, just love. Then watch your relationship blossom, and the poor choice antics die down; trust a mom who knows.