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It’s a “What Would You Do?” Christmas edition!!

Well, well, well, here we are.  I’m refreshed from two very solid nights of sleep.  Yannick’s huge surprise party is behind me, I haven’t taxed my body by working out while sick…some people say that’s a yes, others say it is a big fat no, I generally go by how my body is doing, and then decide from there.  This flu wasn’t the sort of flu where working out was an option, so I took advantage of having those extra days of rest.  And so now, here we are, another What Would You Do Wednesday.  I have so many scenarios for you that I’ve been having a difficult time deciding which one to go with.  My top two are both theme related.  One is related to yesterday’s post, about sexual assault, and the other is about Christmas and family.

Which one to do, which one to do???

I’m going with Christmas, since I sort of already did a sexual assault WWYDW when I first started doing these.

So…here we go!

They say Christmas/Holiday Season is a time to spend copious amounts of time with family, and loved ones.  We’re meant to all gather round to celebrate the season with love in our hearts, and joy in our souls.  But what if you can’t stand your family?  What if you would rather pull your toenails out with a set of pliers than sit around for hours on end with your creepy uncle, or your sibling whom you’ve never actually gotten along with your entire life?  What Would You Do?

Would you;

A)  Decide that this is your holiday season, and you’re a grown ass adult who can decide who you spend your time with? I mean if you don’t see these family members any other time during the year, why should you be made to socialize with them now?

B)  Suck it up and go to the family dinner, knowing that it is only one day, that comes around once a year, and it won’t kill you to be in the same room with the members of your family that you’ve wondered a million times; “how are we related???”

C)  Chat with the Christmas day coordinator, who in most families is Mom, and ask her if it’s cool to split the celebrations into two groups?  (In order for this to be successful, it must be part of the conversation that you, the one who doesn’t get along with some of the questionable family members offers to host the separate dinner.  Trust me when I tell you that this is the only way that this can work.  You can’t expect Mom to host two festive dinners to accommodate your family likes, and dislikes.)

D)  Say nothing at all about not enjoying the company of the full family, and simply decline the invite, opting instead to stay home in pj’s all day long??

Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm.

Looking forward to hearing all your, What Would You Do, replies!!

18 Comments

  1. Christmas does stir up my emotions, too. My mom is 94, no memory anymore, and congestive heart failure. She abused me all my life, and I spent many, many years hating her. So now I find myself not wanting her to go yet! Families are crazy. The rest of my family now are my sister and her in-laws. while they are nice, I don’t feel I belong. I shed a few self-sympathy tears on Christmas day, but tried to hide it by washing dishes. I am tearing up now as I write. But I am at work, so will have to stop.

  2. None of my family, with the exception of my brother living on the other side of the country, talk to me. While i wouldn’t mind spending time with them, i am usually alone on Christmas. I’ve gotten used to it. I miss my Mom at Christmas. She was born Christmas Eve and died 2 weeks after. Christmas was our time to celebrate her.

  3. A. I’ve sucked it up for 65 yrs with in laws and people I don’t care for. Now I do as I please.

  4. Having lost mother, grandmother and father within a 3 year period has redefined how and with whom I choose to spend my holidays. Nothing wrong with PJ’s, Chinese food and binge worthy tv if it allows you to create what YOU need for holiday survival. I say stay home and avoid drama and stress at all cost.

  5. My family has dwindled down to just a few, and most of the remaining few live out of state, so spending Christmas with them is not an option. The only family member who lives close enough for a Christmas get-together is my brother. Unfortunately his wife is not a pleasant person in the best of times and when she drinks, she looses any veneer of civility. So, I guess I’d go with option D – polite declination and a quiet Christmas at home that I can enjoy with my husband. If I could once again spend Christmas with my parents and both of my brothers, though, there’s no way my unpleasant sister-in-law would keep me away!

  6. Okay Shantelle! I am in that exact situation, my cousin who I grew up with (like a big sister) who I spoke to everyday chose to tell me to go f**k myself over something stupid about 5 years ago – that was the end of that, till 3 months later she took a picture of herself standing on my mothers grave on the anniversary of her death and proceeded to tell me she was chatting with MY MOM and she is very disappointed in me WTF?????? Seriously who does that? Her kids are the same age as mine, they love being together, I go and am pleasant and cordial. I do it for my kids … otherwise I have no contact with her.

  7. Well – It seems like several can apply. My daughter lives close and we generally like to stay home in our PJs all day. We invite my nephew and his wife to join us and that is the extent of the family that is in town, My father was Career US Navy and we were generally away for either side of my folks families, My husband was also career US Navy and we were away from either side most of the time again, My Husbands siblings have been at odds for a years and not possible to even all be in the same house anymore. My siblings have always enjoyed each other’s company, But again, we have not been in close proximity around the holidays all the time, So we have made Christmas a “Let’s stay home with our kids and their significant others with morning Baileys and coffee. Our siblings are spread between Colorado and Florida so I would have to answer that I would politely decline an invite to travel. When our parents were still with us, we would try to split Christmas between the sides one year here another there. Christmas is a joyous time and spending it with negative or antagonistic people is not how you want to spend it or how you want your children to spend it, And Christmas togetherness should not be an obligation.
    PJs and Baileys with my husband and kids, Wonderful.

  8. I pick SUCK IT UP AND ATTEND. My Dad died about 2 years ago & he made me promise that me, my sister and brother would stick together. Currently, I am
    glue & the only reason my sister sees my brother. She still harbors an old grudge from when my Mom was sick and he was no where to be found. It didn’t help that after Dad died we found his papers and discovered my brother was adopted. (He was my Mom’s son but Dad formally adopted him). I think Dad was right. We have to try because no one gets through this life alone. It’s important I do it for him and in the end maybe it will be good for us all.

  9. My option isn’t on your list but A is the closest. I make other plans for the big day then set up visits with the family I do enjoy, usually not at the same time because some of them don’t get along. It makes for a busy week and lots of leftovers or fast food but also good times.

  10. This year my husband and I have decided to go away for Christmas for the first time since we’ve been together (married 23 years) to avoid the chaos of Christmas with my family. We have no children (a conscious choice that we made) and Christmas really hasn’t been a “big thing” for us. Since we have been married we have always spent Christmas with my parents and my sisters ( who have kids and now grand kids too, which can be just too much chaos in one day.
    When we told everyone that we were going away this year for Christmas they were disappointed but supportive of our decision.
    We are so excited to finally do what we want over the holidays and are looking forward to having this become our new Christmas tradition.

  11. Fortunately I don’t have this problem. Love spending time with my wonderful family. Guess if I had to pick I would suck it up and go but glad I don’t have to experience that kind of Christmas!

  12. I would go with A. I have a brother who has married a woman the family would have preferred not have part of the family. I do not need to be around as she feeds her insecure need for drama and tension. If others want to gather with them for Christmas despite sharing the same feelings towards her as I do, I say have at it. But I do not need to spend my precious time off in the company of someone I neither like or respect.

  13. If it’s a large enough gathering, it’s possible to ignore them after a basic greeting. Our Christmas Eve feast of 7 fishes party is like that, if you move fast, you can say hello, Merry Christmas, and not see them again till goodnight! Sometimes it is so hectic, we can sneek out with no goodnight!

  14. Often I feel like I’d do a “D”, but if I’m honest … “B”. I will suck it up, but only for short stretches of time. Luckily with our family being the way it is – and the fact that we have to travel over the holidays to spend the time with said family – we have all visits scheduled and shared in advance. And if we are not having fun, we can hit the highway!

  15. I can honestly say I don’t have relatives that I don’t want to spend time with because we are so spread out across the country that Christmas is the only time we are all together all year. But if I did, I’d do B , with a caveat. I’d make an appearance with a time limit. I’d be there for all those I want to see, then split after dinner and gift exchange usually with the “work tomorrow “ excuse. That way everyone you love are not disappointed, but with knowing you, wish they had thought of that excuse! Hahaha!

  16. I can tell you what my bro did. He went, kept his temper and is mouth shut knowing the damage it would cause not going would be worse then the nail biting it would cause him to go. I applaud him. He’s a grown up.

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